Well, the theme of this blog post is definitely a not-so-popular opinion. But it's one that feels true for me.
As I settle into my mid-40s, "adulting" has taken on new dimensions, especially in how I see myself at work. Over time, I've felt a quiet tension between the roles I hold and the expectations placed on me by LinkedIn.
The Leadership Ideal
In many workplaces, "leadership" is held up as the gold standard. A true "leader" should not just manage tasks, but he/she should be inspiring, mentoring, being a model, stirring morale.
In fact, the internet is full of thought pieces, TED talks, and motivational quotes telling us to "be inspiring," "mentor the next generation," "lead with vision." You know the drill.
In a world that celebrates charisma, emotional coaching, and grand vision, it's easy to feel guilt if you don't or can't fit that mould. Don't you agree?
I believe most of us are conditioned to believe that being a leader is the ultimate goal, while being a manager is somehow less.
The infamous Simon Sinek often says: "A boss has the title, a leader has the people." Leadership, he explains, is about mentoring those in your charge so that they buy into you and your vision.
I respect that. But I also can't help but wonder:
Am I failing because I don't "lead" like the books say?
When You Don't Fit the "Leader" Mould
An uncomfortable question keeps surfacing:
What if my personality simply doesn't fit the ideal "leader" mould?
Honestly, I'm not the person who rallies the room with grand speeches or spends hours crafting motivational one-liners.
What if I just want to be a manager?
What if I just want to be steady, task-oriented, and clear, without all the stage lights and inspirational pep talks?
That's me: I focus on clarity, structure, and delivery; I make sure things get done.
And sometimes, yes, I feel guilty for not being more.
What I've Learned About Authenticity
But here's the truth I've come to accept (or at least am working toward):
I don't need to force myself to become the kind of leader social media glorifies.
And that doesn't make me less.
Being a manager is not a demotion. It's not "less than."
It doesn't mean I lack care or vision. It just means I express them differently.
Instead of pep talks, I offer honesty.
Instead of sugarcoating, I give clarity.
Instead of trying to be everyone's favourite "leader," I aim to be fair, dependable, and real.
For some, that might come across as harsh.
For me, it's a sustainable way to operate without burning out.
Integrity Over Image
I don't have to fake a "leader persona" that drains me or feels disingenuous.
What I can strive for is integrity in the role I do play: Consistent, fair, transparent, focused.
I do care about people's work, respect their efforts, and align outcomes with purpose, without pretending to be someone I'm not.
Gratitude and Clarity
I'm grateful for the colleagues, friends, and mentors who see the value in honesty, even when it's uncomfortable.
I'm grateful for those who don't expect me to wear a mask of endless positivity.
This acceptance has lifted a weight off my shoulders.
I don't have to chase an image of leadership that doesn't suit me.
I just need to show up authentically as a manager, a collaborator, and yes, as an adult still figuring things out in midlife.
Authenticity Over Expectation
So yes, some may whisper that I should lead, inspire, and motivate in conventional ways.
But I choose authenticity over expectation.
I don't need to be the leader everyone raves about.
I'll manage in my way. I'll show up as myself.
And if that means I'm not everyone's "favourite leader"...
I'm perfectly okay with that.
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