Our 1-year anniversary wedding meme

1. Where/how did you meet?
At a gathering with mutual friends.

2. How long have you known each other?
3.5 years from the day we met.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
About 1.5 months.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
About 2 years. Engagement blog post here.

5. How long was your engagement?
About 6 months.

6. How long have you been married?
1 year! :D

7. When is your wedding anniversary?
The month of June.

8. Where was your wedding?
We had a beautiful Wedding Mass at St. Ignatius Church, PJ on a beautiful Saturday morning, followed by a semi-garden wedding luncheon at Rahsia Restaurant, KL. One week later, we had our dinner reception for immediate family friends at Ocean Restaurant, Kuala Terengganu. Wedding blog post here.

9. Describe your wedding dress.
The dress was chosen by my hubby. :) Sweetheart neckline, corset-back, princess skirt fitted with a can-can.

10. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
Sunflowers, yellow gerberas.

11. What are your wedding bands?
Simple gold bands. My engagement ring is an Irish Claddagh gold ring.

12. How many people were there in your bridal entourage?
My sister is my maid-of-honor, 4 bridesmaids, 1 best man, 2 groomsmen.

13. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony?
No, I was hyperactive and couldn't stop smiling! My husband too!

14. What is the most special moment of your wedding day?
The moment Father Gerard announced, "By the solemn exchange of vows, Joyce and David have been united in Holy Matrimony. I announce to you that they are now husband and wife."

15. Any funny moments on your wedding day?
The decorative bouquet of bear and flowers flew of the car when we were driving.

16. Any big disasters on your wedding day?
Not on our side, but a few of our guests encountered problems with their car on their way to our wedding luncheon.

17. When and where did you go on your honeymoon?
The next day after the wedding. We went to Da Nang, Vietnam. Blog posts here.

18. How long was your honeymoon?
About a week.

19. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
Nothing, it was already perfect!

20. What's your greatest strength as a couple?
We engage one another in projects we take on, i.e. household-related tasks, baby stuff, business trips, outings, family trips, etc.

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Project: Reflect 52 #44 - A wedding that saves sharks

In Malaysia, it's a tradition to serve shark's fin soup during Chinese wedding dinners. The older Chinese generation holds the perspective that shark's fin soup symbolizes wealth and fortune. Therefore, if the bride and groom's parents are elderly Chinese with hardcore traditional mindset, shark's fin soup will most likely be served to the guests.

Janes and Francis boldly declined (I believe, with their parents' consent) the serving of shark's fin soup during their wedding dinner. They observed the "say no to shark's fin" principle. There's a placard with the tagline "Our Wedding Saves Shark" printed on it on each table.

I was very touched by this thoughtful gesture. This should serve as a good example to all future bride and grooms out there to be bold enough to do the same.

SAY NO TO SHARK'S FIN!

Two years ago, during a wedding dinner in Malacca, the bride and groom served shark's fin soup. I refused to drink a single drop and pushed the bowl back to the center of the table. A few guests repeated the same thing. Hahaha! It's YOUR wedding! Can't you be bold enough to dictate what you want to serve to your guests? Just say NO to that bloody soup, is that so difficult? 

Congratulations Janes and Francis!

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Fill in the Blank Friday - Do, Did, Done

Belated post for my Fill in the Blank Friday series.

1. Something I swore I'd never do, but have ended up doing anyway is lusting after "affordable luxuries", i.e. branded handbags; my current favorite being Coach.

2. Something I've always wanted to do is to be my own boss!

3. Something I have absolutely no desire to ever do is any form of adrenaline-pumping activities, e.g. white water rafting, jungle trekking, and whatever activities that demand extreme physical efforts. NO WAY.

4. The best thing I ever did was planning our own wedding. We managed to do it within budget and didn't start our life as husband and wife in debt. Note: Wedding in Malaysia is an expensive affair, of which we refuse to succumb to temptations whatsoever. Wedding is but for ONE DAY, marriage is for a LIFETIME.

5. When it comes to trying new things, I am and can be quite reluctant; well, it all depends on what those new things are. I'm a sucker for familiar and comfortable routines. Hahaha!

6. One thing I've never done is going topless during beach holidays, but hmmm... it's an idea worth considering, especially if we have a little private beach stretch for ourselves. :P

7. My favorite thing to do is spending every remaining hours of the day with my hubby. We work and drive separately (Malaysian traffic is insane) for almost 14 hours a day (Monday to Friday); so we try to have dinner together as much as we can.

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Fill in the Blank Friday - Firsts

I found out about Lauren, author of The Little Things We Do from her blog post about her birth story.

I'm very impressed with her spirit and positivity, especially the part where she said, "My one suggestion for having a natural birth? The power of positive thinking." This is a very strong conviction and encouragement for me as I prepare myself for my first pregnancy early next year. :)

Then, I found out about her fill in the blank friday series. So, here I am! This is my first post of the series, of which I will submit my link here.

Quoting Lauren, "Hope you make some more "firsts" over your weekend!"

My "firsts"

1. My first memory was about being a naughty little girl who "dumped" an entire bottle of baby powder all over my baby sister just because I wanted to smell how nice she would be. My mom was horrified. :D


2. My first love was my husband. We were married three months ago. :) Spending time with him every day is the best investment I have ever made in my life.


3. My very first favorite color was and still is, yellow - the color of sunshine, sunflower, happiness, and bliss!


4. The first time I really felt like a "grown-up" was when my husband, then boyfriend, proposed to me during Christmas last year. I was like: Okay, so we are getting married, next thing in line would be parenthood. So yeah, that's kinda force me to "grow up" with a real purpose in life.


5. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is check my mobile phone to know what time it is and whether I can still nap for a few more minutes before I head to the bathroom.


6. The first CD (cassette tape, record, etc...) I ever bought was a Hong Kong singer, Faye Wong's cassette tape. However, I have given all her tapes away when I was studying in the university many years ago.


7. My first car was and still is, a Malaysian Proton Saga 1.3L (M-line), of which I affectionately called WUQkie. Why? Here's the post.

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Project: Reflect 52 #25 - 3 popular questions people ask us after we're married

Our wedding bands

#1: Where did you go for your honeymoon. How was it?

Honeymoon was really good. We went to Da Nang in Vietnam. Weather was scorching hot. We walked to wherever we wanna go everyday for 6 days. Follow this tag for more upcoming blog posts and photos. :)

#2: How's married life?

We're still in love. We got our own nest, I mean house. Hubby says it's our kingdom. :D We're spending more time together compared to before we're married. Everything's really great! Marital bliss is real. :D

#3: When are you gonna have a baby?

Not so soon, but we have plans to produce a 2013 year-end baby, either boy or girl is fine. We have names for them already! :D

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In case you missed, you might want to read these posts:

We're Married (Part 1): A Thank You Note
We're Married (Part 2): A Summary
We're Married (Part 3): Our Wedding Mass

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By the way, I really like this charm bracelet we got from Han Market, Da Nang. One of the charms is inscribed with the LOVE character in Chinese. It pretty much summarizes my mood all these while. :)

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We're Married (Part 3): Our Wedding Mass

This post is a continuation from my previous posts:

We're Married (Part 1): A Thank You Note 

We're Married (Part 2): A Summary

  
A Catholic wedding Mass has a universal order. However, the couple has the choice to select Bible verses and hymns.

Here's the content of our wedding Mass booklet.

ENTRANCE PROCESSION

The Bridal March: As the Deer (Instrumental)

Entrance Hymn: This is the Day

INTRODUCTORY RITES

Penitential Rites

Opening Prayer

LITURGY OF THE WORD

Romans 8:31b-35, 37-39

Psalms 112: 1-2, 3-4, 5-7a, 7bc-8, 9

Mark 10: 6-9

Homily

RITE OF MARRIAGE

Declaration of our consent to marry

Blessing & Exchange of Rings

Prayer of the Faithful

LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST

Offertory Hymn: Take Our Bread
Invitation to Prayer

Prayer Over the Offerings

Eucharistic Prayer

Doxology of the Eucharistic Prayer

Nuptial Blessing

Communion Rite

Sign of Peace

Breaking of Bread

Communion Hymn: One Bread One Body

Thanksgiving Hymn: Give Thanks

Prayer after Communion

CONCLUDING RITES

Final prayers and blessings

SIGNING OF THE MARRIAGE REGISTER

Concluding Hymn: In Moments Like These

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If you are planning to have a Catholic wedding, I have written this: A Guide to Catholic Wedding Preparation in Malaysia

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Joshua 24:15b

But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

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We're Married (Part 2): A Summary

This post is a continuation from my previous post - We're Married (Part 1): A Thank You Note

A) Venues

• Wedding mass (morning) at St. Ignatius Catholic Church, Kelana Jaya
• Wedding luncheon (1st reception) and tea ceremony (family members only) at Rahsia Restaurant, Kuala Lumpur
• Wedding dinner (2nd reception) at Ocean Restaurant, Kuala Terengganu

B) Attire

• Wedding gown and long veil from Just Wardrobe, Damansara Uptown
• Lace cheongsam from Cove, Damansara Uptown
• Tailor-made wedding heels from San Lee Shoes, Taman Midah, Cheras
• My accessories are my mom's pearl necklace and bracelet, and my sister's pearl earrings
• Hairdo and makeup (during wedding mass, luncheon, tea ceremony) by Juanne Pang
• Manicure and pedicure by Posh! Nail Spa, TTDI
• Tailor-made groom's suit from Amcorp Mall
• Groom's white long-sleeved white shirt and tie from Robinson's
• Hairdo and makeup (during 2nd reception) by Pam, Kuala Terengganu

C) All floral arrangements by my mother-in-law

 

• 7 main arrangements (sunflowers, yellow gerbera, carnations, chrysanthemums, ferns)
• Bridal bouquet (sunflowers, yellow gerbera)
• 20 church pew ends
• Maid-of-honor and 4 bridesmaids' bouquets (yellow gerbera)
• Groom, best man, and 2 groomsmen's boutonnieres (yellow gerbera)
• Giant single sunflower for wedding bands

D) Wedding bands

• Gold bands from Tanah Merah
• For those who ask, my engagement band is from Dublin, Ireland

E) Wedding car

• My father-in-law's Prius
• Car decoration by my mother-in-law

F) Photographers

• Firdaus Feeq (Creative Visual Studio)
• Ceavs Chua
• Eric Fong

G) Wedding luncheon venue decor

• Same floral arrangements during wedding mass in church
• Church pew ends tied to VVIP chairs in restaurant
• Canopy and stage by Rozman Canopy
• Table numbers by Leona
• Glasses (doubled up as vases) from IKEA
• Wedding favors (cream rosebuds soap from Kuala Terengganu)

H) Guests registration table

• Guest books from Borders
• Jigsaw puzzles from Puzzle House (they were initially blank but hubby spray-painted them with 4 colors - yellow for joy, red for love, blue for health, orange for abundance)
• Pre-wedding photobook by Creative Visual Studio

I) Entourage

• My godfather Uncle Francis walked me down the aisle during wedding mass
• Maid-of-honor: Judith
• Bridesmaids: Cheryl, Patricia, Leona, Melissa
• Wedding mass commentator: Jian Xin
• Wedding luncheon registration table caretaker: Windy
• Best man: TK
• Groomsmen: Merce, Fly
• Wedding luncheon MC: Chris

J) Wedding invitation cards

• The story
• Storybook, Tropicana City Mall

K) Wedding booklets

• Booklet covers from Salvation, Summit
• Photocopy at SS15, Subang Jaya

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Numbers 6:24-26

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

In His Love,

David & Joyce Bates

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Update:

We're Married (Part 3): Our Wedding Mass

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We're Married (Part 1): A Thank You Note

A lovely note from Father Gerard Theraviam

Wishing you JESUS on your escapades through LIFE + LOVE

A lovely note from Uncle Pakiam and Aunty Angelique

Wishing you God's blessings
as you start your life journey together,
And may He always be
the heart of your marriage,
the light of your home,
and the ever-present partner in your
life together.


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We would like to express our most heartfelt thanks to:

Our Heavenly Father, for joining us together in faith and love; for blessing the day we begin our lives as one; and for being our true source of hope, joy and love, always.

Father Gerard Theraviam, for graciously celebrating our Wedding Mass and making it a true celebration in God's presence. This is indeed the day that our Lord has made.

Our beloved parents and family members, for your unconditional love in bringing us up and selfless sacrifice for both of us all these years. We hope to walk in your footsteps.

Our dear relatives, for your strong support and taking time to bear witness to our sacrament of marriage.

Our entourage of bridesmaids, groomsmen and helpers, for your great effort and timely help.

Our friends and colleagues from near and far, for taking time to attend our wedding luncheon and reception.

May God bless you with everlasting joy, always.

Thank you all for your well-wishes, gifts and prayers.

Thank you!!!

In His Love,

David & Joyce Bates

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Updates:

We're Married (Part 2): A Summary
We're Married (Part 3): Our Wedding Mass

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Project: Reflect 52 #23-24 - Good, good life!

After a long well-spent hiatus, I'm back. :)

The past one week plus was exhilarating - our wedding mass and receptions, honeymoon, and my birthday. Good, good life indeed!

Now that we're back in KL, stay tuned for more blog posts. You know you want to read 'em. ;)

Dear Lord Jesus, thank You for Your guidance, protection, good graces, and so much more. All glory, thanks, and praises to You, Heavenly Father. Amen!

♥

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Project: Reflect 52 #20 - My corset back wedding dress

Here's a sneak peek of my corset back wedding dress. It's a full princess gown and I'll be wearing a can can underneath the skirt.

Other sneak peeks:
Beige halter neck lace cheongsam
Wedding heels

Major wedding preparation items are completed:

Civil registration
Pre-wedding shoot
Bridal shower
Wedding invitation card
Wedding luncheon venue
Wedding mass (preparation & journey) in church

More of our wedding preparation journey here and here.

♥

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Project: Reflect 52 #19 - With Hand and Heart

Our yellow, brown, and cream wedding invitation card. Thanks Enya & team from Storybook!

We are sending out the cards (either by hand or snail mail) in batches.

Our wedding motto - "Et Manu Et Corde" or "With Hand and Heart" is inspired by our engagement story.

More of our wedding preparation journey here and here.

♥

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Mini food-tasting @ Rahsia Restaurant & Bar, Jalan Damai, KL

Lamb Shank

A chunk of tender, succulent, and flavorful lamb shank on a bed of creamy mashed potatoes, long beans, cauliflowers, and brown sauce.

Smoked Salmon Salad

A colorful plate of mixed fresh lettuce - romaine, buttherhead, green and red coral tossed with cherry tomatoes and olives, my favorite! Artfully sprinkled with grated Parmesan, croutons, and four mini rolls of smoked salmon.


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Rahsia Restaurant & Bar, a cozy bungalow-turned-restaurant located at 13, Jalan Damai, KL is our wedding luncheon / reception venue in June 2012.

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Project: Reflect 52 #17 - My shoes & I

I have a pair of yellow ballerina flats from Vincci. I love them so much and I even gotten myself lemonade yellow shades for my fingernails during my bridal shower to match them!

I have another pair of ballerina flats. They come with a lovely shade of creamy white. I adore the ribbons on top and at the tips of the ribbons are little bling-blings. Love them!

Aha! Here's a sneak peek of my 2.5-inch, custom-made wedding heels. Glittery gold and looking very glamorous! They will add extra bling to my tea ceremony cheongsam. :)

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A Couple's Prayer

Dear God,

As we begin our journey, we invite You to be our strength and guide. We surrender ourselves to You and pray with confidence that You will always be there in our daily lives. We pray that we will be Faithful to our Commitment to each other willingly, with understanding and honesty. We also pray that we will have Your attitude in communicating in thought, word and deed. Teach us to follow in Your footsteps, in loving and trusting each other. Help us realize that we are called to be a blessing to each other.

Amen.

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Project: Reflect 52 #16 - Gotten "Talon-ted"

 Quoting Riyuna (one of my bridesmaids), today's bridal shower (for me :P), which is a posh and really cheerful manicure-pedicure session at Posh! Nail Spa, TTDI is called "A Hen and Her Very Talon-ted Chicks". Good one Riyuna! I always enjoy reading your catchy one-liners! :D

Check out our lovely, brightly colored fingernails and toenails!

A big THANK YOU to my bridesmaids (Cheryl, Naoko, Riyuna, Silvy), maid-of-honor (my younger sister), and registration caretaker (Wind Goddess).

As the bride-to-be, I did the Indulgence combo, i.e. trim, shape, cuticle care, buff, foot file, exfoliating scrub (I chose Pomegranate), soothing lotion, light massage, and polish of my choice. So, I have lemonade yellow fingernails and apple green toenails! Cheerful and vibrant!

 

Vouchers and more vouchers in our gift bag.

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Find out more about Posh! Nail Spa on Facebook. They offer manicure and pedicure services, nail extensions and enhancements, waxing, and eyelash extensions.

Give them a call if you want to do private functions. What we did was that we booked three hours for all seven of us, plus some finger food and fruit juice.

Yes, I'm definitely coming back to Posh! to do my wedding nail art in June and I'll be bringing the groom-to-be for his first male manicure-pedicure session too. :P

Note: This is not an advertorial.

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Project: Reflect 52 #15 - Photos that made my week

Sneak peek of our pre-wedding shoot.

Photo courtesy of Creative Visual Studio.

My hairdo and makeup for our pre-wedding shoot by my wedding makeup artist, Ju Anne. She did a really great job!

My new lace top and heart necklace. Love the ultra soft feminine feel.

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Project: Reflect 52 #14 - We're now hubby & wifey

Simple yet meaningful. Thanks everyone - family members, bridesmaids, and close friends - for attending. Really appreciate your presence. :)

Now, we are legally husband and wife in the eyes of the government. For us to become legal in the eyes of the church, we will wait for our wedding mass in June this year. :)

25th December, 8th January, 7th April, 9th June. I love dates. ;)

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Project: Reflect 52 #11 - My world is about to 'end' soon

 
In April, after the papers are signed, we will be 'legalized'. In June, after the ceremony and reception are done, we will be staying under one roof.

So now, his current house looks like a giant dumpster. Things are being packed into boxes and bags and they will be moved to the new house soon. Useless stuff are thrown away and unwanted items will be donated.

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The following paragraphs contain disjointed thoughts because I feel like writing a journal entry with pieces of thoughts here and there.

Events are speeding up as the big day draws near. Mixed feelings: both excitement and nervousness. Tonnes of things to be done: the legals, the house, finer details of our wedding preparation, wallet-bleeding expenses, etc. Gah!

He said his world is about to 'end' soon. Come to think of it, my world will face the same 'predicament' too. The optimists say, marriage is a brand new beginning. The pessimists say, marriage is love's tomb. Our singlehood is ending soon and what lies ahead are bigger responsibilities to be shouldered... together. Be it heaven or hell, just bring it on!

Seriously, those who are planning to get married, make sure you are mentally prepared for much stress and anxiety because there really are a lot of things to be sorted out and to be done. It's no joke.

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Need a break, but no Kit-Kat. I'm on diet until the wedding's over. I can't take a lot of carbs and sugary food.

Oh Lord, I'm running around like a helpless chicken again. Please guide me.

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Project: Reflect 52 #9 - Le planning freak

 
Yes, I'm a planning freak, but not a control freak. The two are different you see. I can plan things ahead but I can't control what's gonna happen two weeks down the road, can I?

So, I come out with many plans, i.e. the main plan, the alternative plans, the back-up plans. As long as I don't have to grope in darkness and wait in agony, I'd rather spend much time doing planning, even if most details will change sooner or later. Planning, no matter how absurdly early it is, gives me some sort of emotional stability, something I can cling to when things do go awry. Well, perhaps I should insert God somewhere along this line.

Okay, the above is all about ME. But to make a relationship or partnership works, we need the WE.

So, what we have done so far with our DIY wedding planning is to keep a record of all our wedding-related expenses, i.e. my wedding gown, wedding favors, wedding reception venue's booking fee, and many other expenses. I keep bills, receipts, and credit card printouts in a little red scrapbook with oriental design on its cover.

Also, it's now 13 more weeks to our big day. So, I have a 2012 diary with weekly view in which I keep tab of our weekly accomplishments. The diary is a thoughtful 2011 Christmas gift from Riyuna. Thanks babe!

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Let's say a prayer:

Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

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A Guide to Catholic Wedding Preparation in Malaysia

Church requirements

If you intend to conduct your wedding ceremony in a Catholic church, here are some guidelines.

I'm sharing our wedding preparation experience for our wedding in St. Ignatius Church, Kelana Jaya in June 2012.
 
Basics

Either the bride and/or the groom must be a baptized and confirmed Catholic.

If both the bride and groom are Catholics, a full Wedding Mass will be conducted. If only the bride or the groom is a Catholic, a Wedding Service will be conducted.

9 months (at least) before your intended wedding date

• Go to the parish office to get the Wedding Enrollment form & check if your intended wedding date and time are available.
• Sign up for the Catholic Marriage Preparation Course (CMPC), a 7-week program for couples intending to get married.

6 months before your intended wedding date

Submit your Wedding Enrollment form with:

• A copy of Baptism certificate by the church where you were baptized.
• A copy of Confirmation certificate by the church where you were baptized.
• Recent passport-sized photos: one for each person, to be used in the Banns.
• A copy of CMPC certificate.
• A copy of IC of 2 witnesses; one for the bride and one for the groom.

3-4 months before your intended wedding date

• Arrange with the parish office for Prenuptial Inquiry (PNI).
• After PNI, proceed to apply for the Civil Registration of Marriages. Refer Legal requirements (Civil Registration of Marriage) below.

1-2 months before your intended wedding date

• Arrange for a commentator, a lector (reader), and the choir for the Wedding Mass.
• Prepare your wedding booklet.
• Arrange for a florist (with the church or external).
• Arrange for a wedding rehearsal with the sacristan.

1 week before your intended wedding date

• Provide a copy of your wedding booklet for the priest to review.
• Wedding rehearsal.

Legal requirements (Civil Registration of Marriage)

Catholics have the option to conduct their Civil Registration of Marriage at Assumption Church, Petaling Jaya.

• Make an appointment with Jessie at the Assistant Registrar of Marriage's office and she will provide the JPN.KC02 form for you.
• Set your intended registration date and time with her.

1 month before your intended registration date

• Fill up the JPN.KC02 form.
• Prepare one color photograph (32mm x 38mm) against a BLUE background for each person.
• Prepare photocopies of IC (both bride and groom).
• Make an appointment to meet the Commissioner of Oath to get their signature. We're getting ours done by Helen Koh (Damansara Uptown). More information here.
• Visit any Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN) branch to get your form certified. If you want to go on a Saturday, only the Putrajaya branch and ibu negeri branches are open. More information here.
• Prepare photocopies of 2 witnesses' IC (to be brought on the day of registration).
• Submit the signed and certified form to Jessie, at least 3 weeks before your intended registration day, so that she can put up the Banns.

On the day of registration

• Witnesses have to be present.
• There's no strict dress code. The ceremony can be either simple or grand, it's up to you and your spouse.
• Then, remember to submit a copy of the civil certificate to the church where you've submitted your Wedding Enrollment form a while ago.

Most importantly, enjoy grace in the process. These priceless experiences bring you closer to your spouse and to God too.

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