A Parenting Reflection Inspired by Harry Kane's Ballon d'Or Win

Harry Kane won the 2026 Men's Ballon d'Or!

Many football fans were genuinely happy for him. Some even commented that Kane's win felt like Robert Lewandowski and all the other deserving footballers who had never won the award were finally getting their moment too.

I thought that was quite an intriguing sentiment.

Source: meetunnadkat

But what really got me thinking was my youngest son telling me that he was thrilled Harry Kane won.

Now, I don't know exactly why he was so happy. Maybe he simply likes Kane as a footballer. But knowing my boy and the challenges he faces, particularly with his physical stature, I wonder whether he sees a little bit of himself in Kane's story.

Not Every Child Is a Messi or Lamine Yamal

Let's be realistic. Footballers like Lionel Messi and Lamine Yamal are extremely rare. They are exceptional talents who were already attracting attention at a very young age.

Most children who love football are not going to be like them. And that's okay.

My youngest son loves football. He does face challenges with his physical stature, whereby he's considerably smaller than many children his age.

In football, physical stature does matter. Of course, there are smaller players who are technically brilliant, but when you're a child playing against other children who are taller, stronger and faster, the physical differences can be quite obvious.

I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Just like many other children who play the sport, he needs to put in a lot of effort to become better.

But he enjoys football. And as his mother, I think that's a good enough reason to continue supporting his interest.

Harry Kane Didn't Exactly Have a Glorious Start

One of the things I find interesting about Kane's career is that he wasn't always considered a promising footballer.

He was released by Arsenal's academy when he was a young boy. He was also reportedly smaller than many of his teammates during his early years.

Even after joining Tottenham Hotspur, he didn't immediately become a superstar. He went through several loan spells at Leyton Orient, Millwall, Norwich City and Leicester City before finally establishing himself at Tottenham.

If you look at his career now, it's easy to forget that there was a time when he wasn't necessarily the player everyone expected to succeed.

You can read about his story on this IG post and this one too.

Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Now that Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, we can look back at his journey and talk about perseverance, determination and hard work.

But imagine being his parents when he was eight or nine years old and Arsenal decided he wasn't good enough for their academy.

At that point, nobody could have known that he would eventually become one of the world's best strikers.

His father apparently encouraged him to keep playing football instead of treating the rejection as the end of the road.

I think that's the part of Kane's story that resonates most with me as a parent.

Because when your child is still young, you really don't know how things will turn out.

Being Smaller Doesn't Mean He Should Have Fewer Opportunities

This is probably the most personal part of the story for me.

Because of my son's growth challenges, I'm very conscious of the fact that he may not be able to compete physically with some of his peers, at least for now. And yes, it does concern me sometimes.

I don't want him to become discouraged simply because other children are bigger or stronger. Neither do I want him to believe that being physically smaller means he's automatically less capable.

But I also have to be realistic.

There will be situations where physical differences put him at a disadvantage. There may be opportunities that he doesn't get, or teams that he doesn't make.

I can't protect him from every disappointment.

What I can do is make sure that I don't become another person who limits him before he's even had the chance to try.

If he wants to play football, let him play. If he needs extra practice, we'll find ways to help him. If he struggles with something, we'll work on it.

And if one day he decides that football is no longer something he wants to pursue, that's fine too.

I don't want to decide his future based on how tall he is today.

Interestingly, Kane has spoken about being one of the smaller players when he was young before going through a growth spurt.

Now, I'm not saying my son will follow the same path. His growth challenges are something we're addressing separately, and every child's development is different.

But it is a useful reminder that children develop differently, physically and in terms of their abilities.

What we see at nine or ten years old isn't necessarily what we'll see at fifteen or twenty.

So yes, I'm happy Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or too.

Not because I expect my son to follow in his footsteps, but because Kane's story is a reminder that not everyone starts out as the obvious favourite.

And as parents, perhaps we should be a little more patient with children who need more time to find their footing.

After all, we're raising children, not scouting for the next Ballon d'Or winner. Haha.

Can ChatGPT Be My Personal Stylist? A Plus-Size Petite Experiment

Have You Heard of Personal Styling?

About 6 or 7 years ago, I had a personal colour consultation with a personal stylist friend, who told me I belonged to the Warm Spring colour season.

Now it is late 2026, and I start to wonder whether that assessment still applies because I'm now older and heavier. Haha.

And while we're at it, could ChatGPT help me figure out my personal style without having to engage another stylist?

So, I decided to run an experiment using AI.

Now I'm a Sage and a Mystic.

Wait, what is this? ChatGPT started the analysis by pointing me to the feminine archetypes questionnaire on Traitprint, which categorises personality characteristics into 12 archetypes.

My results were pretty interesting.

• The Sage: Wisdom, clarity and quiet authority.
• The Mystic: Intuition, depth and the inner world.
• The Lover, Rebel, Queen and Huntress: A four-way tie for the next position.

I wasn't particularly surprised by Sage. I do enjoy questioning things, understanding how they work and looking for evidence before drawing conclusions.

The Mystic archetype, on the other hand, is used to describe introspection, trusting one's intuition and seeking deeper meaning. And I do trust my gut feelings quite a lot.

Of course, these archetype questionnaires aren't scientifically validated personality assessments. I treated the results as an engaging exercise in self-reflection rather than a definitive description of who I am.

From Feminine Archetypes to Personal Style

ChatGPT suggested that my Sage-Mystic combination could translate into a style that was understated, sophisticated and slightly unconventional.

It even gave my style an identity: The Intuitive Elegant. Quite atas-sounding, isn't it? Haha.

According to this interpretation, the Sage influence favours clean lines, structure and timeless pieces, while the Mystic adds depth through colours, textures and subtle accessories.

I rather liked the idea.

After all, I've always been drawn to looking effortlessly polished without appearing overdressed.

But there's a difference between admiring a particular aesthetic and being able to wear it comfortably, which brings me to the next obvious challenge.

The Plus-Size Petite Problem

If you're familiar with the combination of plus size and petite, you'll probably understand why finding flattering clothing isn't always straightforward.

Many petite styling recommendations seem designed for slim women with a flat tummy and a small waist, while plus-size fashion often assumes a taller and voluptuous frame.

So where does that leave someone who is both petite and plus-size? Add a fuller midsection in midlife, and things become even more complicated.

So over the years, I've developed some fairly specific clothing preferences.

I love pencil skirts, particularly knee-length and ankle-length ones. I also wear fitted pants, usually paired with long, loose tops that provide coverage around my stomach and bottom.

Dresses? Not really my thing. I almost always feel frumpy in them.

Heels? No, thank you. I only wear sneakers or ballet flats any day.

I even told ChatGPT about all my preferences and current stylings. Surely all this information would help it understand my style better, right?

Well, not immediately.

AI Keeps Dressing Me Up Like a Slim Woman

Here's where the experiment became irritating.

Despite knowing my height, body proportions and clothing preferences, ChatGPT repeatedly showed me styling examples featuring slim petite women.

But were they representative of my body type? NO.

Eventually, I pointed it out myself to ChatGPT, as I was getting impatient.

To its credit, ChatGPT acknowledged the oversight and revised its recommendations to consider the actual challenges of dressing a plus-size petite frame.

That was probably the most useful moment of the entire exercise.

It basically shows that personalised recommendations aren't necessarily personal just because an algorithm has been fed information about you.

Sometimes, you still need to challenge the recommendations before they become relevant.

So, What Did ChatGPT Recommend Eventually?

After quite a lengthy conversation, we arrived at a style profile that actually made sense to me.

The colour direction remained Warm Spring, based mainly on my previous professional consultation.

As for my wardrobe, the recommendations became much more practical.

Instead of suggesting dresses or oversized clothing, ChatGPT focused on what I already enjoy wearing: pencil skirts, fitted trousers, relaxed but structured blouses, comfortable footwear and simple accessories.

It suggested experimenting with warm ivory, deep teal, chocolate brown, caramel and coral rather than relying entirely on black.

Black, by the way, has long been one of my preferred colours, mainly because I find it useful for drawing less attention to my midsection.

The most useful advice wasn't about changing my personal style completely. It was about paying closer attention to garment proportions, shoulder fit, fabric drape, blouse length and waistband comfort.

In other words, work with what I like instead of trying to turn me into someone else.

So, Can ChatGPT Really Replace a Personal Stylist?

After this experiment, my answer would be this: Not entirely.

ChatGPT was useful for brainstorming outfit combinations, exploring colour palettes and helping me articulate my preferences, but it also made assumptions.

It initially overlooked my body proportions when providing visual examples, and some suggestions were more generic.

A qualified personal stylist can assess fabric, fit, proportions and how different garments actually look on a person. ChatGPT cannot fully replicate that experience through a conversation and a couple of photographs.

Still, it offered something useful: an opportunity to examine my wardrobe choices more consciously.

I realised that I already have a fairly consistent personal style. I favour streamlined bottoms, relaxed tops, comfortable shoes and understated elegance.

Perhaps I don't need to reinvent my wardrobe after all.

I just need to be more deliberate about how I put everything together.

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Another blog post that I wrote a few months ago, which I find quite interesting when I read it again: What AI Thinks My Personality Is (After Two Years of Conversations)

Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things

I've been watching quite a bit of crime television lately.

I recently finished all three seasons of the Turkish series Graveyard (Mezarlık), I'm currently on Season 3 of The Rookie, and I've finally reached Season 12 of Bones.

They are three crime procedurals that give me very different viewing experiences.

Graveyard is intense and often emotionally heavy. The Rookie is a much lighter watch, with plenty of humour and entertaining characters. Bones has been a long-running favourite, particularly because of its combination of science, criminal investigations, and character dynamics.

While watching these shows, I realised something about the characters that stood out to me across all three series.

Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie

For example, the character Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie. He is a ruthless psychopathic criminal - manipulative, opportunistic and certainly not someone I'd want anywhere near my personal or professional life.

But he's brilliant at surviving. He reads situations, identifies opportunities and makes himself useful when necessary. Even when circumstances are stacked against him, he somehow manages to find a way to stay in the game.

I find him thoroughly entertaining. You ask, would I trust him? Absolutely not. Hahaha. But I find his resourcefulness rather impressive, though it doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Inspector Önem from Graveyard

Then there's Inspector Önem from Graveyard.

She's truly capable, although she's severely underestimated in the beginning. She's determined and willing to challenge institutional failures, particularly when investigating crimes against women. She doesn't always have an easy relationship with the people around her, but she knows what she's doing.

What I enjoyed most about the first two seasons was the team dynamic between Önem, Serdar, Hasan, Selin and Berk.

They have different personalities, strengths and ways of approaching situations. They don't always agree, and they get frustrated with one another quite frequently. But they know how to work together when it matters.

However, Season 3 was disappointing. The storyline became unnecessarily complicated with an unsatisfying ending. After three seasons of investing in these characters, I expected a better resolution.

Still, I enjoyed watching how the team functioned in the earlier two seasons.

Dr Lance Sweets from Bones

And then, Bones! I've always appreciated the different expertise that each character brings to the investigations. Dr Brennan is exceptionally knowledgeable, Booth has his investigative instincts, and the Jeffersonian team (Hodgins, Angela, Dr Saroyan, and the whole rotation of interns) contributes its scientific expertise.

But my favourite character will always be Dr Lance Sweets. To me, he is the GOAT! Hahaha.

He's intelligent, perceptive, funny and kind. He understands human behaviour and can recognise things that others overlook. He doesn't need to be the most senior or authoritative person in the room to demonstrate his value.

What I particularly liked was how he could challenge Booth and Brennan without trying to compete with either of them. He knew what he brought to the table.

Competence, Likeability, Trust

Thinking about these characters, I realise that competence, likeability and trust are not necessarily the same thing.

Here's how I look at it:

Despite being a criminal, Oscar gets things done, but he primarily uses his abilities to protect his own interests, which means his intelligence doesn't make him reliable or trustworthy.

Sweets, on the other hand, combines competence with sincerity and a genuine concern for others, which makes him very likeable.

And Önem demonstrates her abilities through her actions, earning trust from her teammates, even when circumstances are difficult.

The Distinction That Matters Beyond TV Characters

Over the years, I've worked with people whose personalities and approaches are very different from mine. Some are systematic and detail-oriented; others are more intuitive or spontaneous.

I don't necessarily have a problem with either approach.

I can appreciate someone's abilities even when they work differently from me because I don't expect everyone to think the same way or arrive at decisions through the same process.

What matters the most to me is this: "Can the person deliver what they have promised and committed to doing?"

Trust is an important workplace "currency" that I associate with consistency, accountability, and demonstrated behaviour.

A confident personality who can make grand promises doesn't automatically establish competence. Neither does seniority, a job title or being particularly good at talking.

Likewise, having a difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks ability or competency.

I've become more conscious of separating these things rather than treating them as interchangeable.

I can recognise someone's strengths without liking everything about them; I can appreciate intelligence without needing to know how it's used; and I have become very deliberate in creating opportunities to earn and learn trust, which is a very expensive "currency".

Perhaps that's also why I enjoy ensemble casts. Different characters contribute different abilities, and not everyone needs to be the star.

Anyway, I'm still watching The Rookie, and I'm quite happy to keep it as a light, entertaining series.

No need for every episode to provide an important life lesson.

Although, apparently, I can't even watch a fictional criminal like Oscar Hutchinson without thinking about competence and trust.

Hahaha.

Xennial Women's Bingo

I'm a Xennial.

Xennial is the micro-generation that sits between younger Gen X and older Millennials, with the commonly cited range being 1977-1983.

The top half of our lives was extraordinarily analogue. We have made mixtapes, survived dial-up internet, lived perfectly well without smartphones and somehow managed to meet people without sharing our live location. 😂

We also grew up when health information came largely from parents, magazines, doctors and whatever someone's aunty said. Then we became adults during the internet revolution.

Now we are in our 40's, entering perimenopause in an era of wearables, podcasts, TikTok doctors, supplements, HRT debates, health influencers, private screening packages, AI and Dr Google.

We are taking words like oestrogen, ApoB, visceral fat, bone density and insulin resistance seriously.

In fact, some of us could be taking magnesium, trying to sleep earlier, interpreting blood test results, and asking more questions before and during medical appointments.

I made a Xennial Women's Bingo card.

How many boxes can you tick? 😂

Actually, I'm also curious about something slightly more serious: How does a generation of women who grew up trusting traditional sources of health information navigate an overwhelming abundance of health information at midlife?

Because we may be the last generation that grew up without the internet, and one of the first to navigate midlife with almost unlimited health information at our fingertips.

This combination fascinates me.

When curiosity becomes a commitment.

What started as an interest in understanding this stage of life has developed into something broader.

I'm increasingly curious about how women search for health information, whom they trust, and how they decide what is worth buying, trying or paying for.

And to be honest... I've been thinking about what it means to pursue an intellectual interest seriously, especially at this stage of life.

Professional experience doesn't automatically translate into academic research competence. There are new methods to learn, assumptions to challenge and different standards of evidence to understand.

Looks like, somewhere along the way, my curiosity has become more deliberate. I'm no longer just reading because something interests me. I'm beginning to think about what it would take to contribute something meaningful to the subject.

That excites me as much as it intimidates me.

For now, I'll keep the curiosity burning as I prepare mentally and physically for my commitment for the next few years.