Michael Olise Got Me Thinking. Perhaps I Care Too Much About What Others Think

First, it was Harry Kane who inspired me to reflect on parenting. Now, it's Michael Olise who's got me thinking about work and, well, myself. Haha.

I've been rather amused by the attention surrounding Olise lately, particularly his nonchalant attitude towards interviews, publicity and marketing.

In September 2026, his remarkably brief post-match interview went viral. When asked how he scored such brilliant goals, he essentially replied that he shoots and the ball either goes in or doesn't.

Hahaha!

Here's a footballer who seems perfectly comfortable being himself. He doesn't appear particularly interested in impressing anyone or explaining himself more than necessary.

Of course, being a professional footballer comes with responsibilities beyond playing football. I believe he understands that, and from what I've read, his club and he are working towards fulfilling those expectations.

But what I find refreshing is that he doesn't seem to feel the need to completely change his personality just to fit everyone's expectations.

And that got me thinking.

The Uncomfortable Part of Being in Management

Recently, I've had to make some difficult decisions and initiate uncomfortable conversations at work. I've always believed that trust comes from consistency, accountability and demonstrated behaviour. I also believe people deserve opportunities to learn, improve and prove themselves. I blogged about my experience here: Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things.

But I'd be lying if I said I never questioned myself afterwards.

Did I handle that correctly? Was I too harsh? Did I ruffle a few feathers unnecessarily? What if my judgement was wrong? I spoke about my reactions on my LinkedIn post.

I got to say that I've started seeing some encouraging changes. Yet, even with these positive developments, I sometimes find myself revisiting those uncomfortable conversations and wondering whether I could have done things differently.

Maybe I Care Too Much About What Others Think

Perhaps that's why Olise fascinates me.

Not because I want to become indifferent to what people think. I still care about how my decisions affect others, and I certainly don't believe that having good intentions automatically makes every decision right.

But I'm beginning to realise that I don't need to constantly justify myself or seek reassurance that everyone agrees with my approach.

I can be firm and still be fair. I can trust my judgement and still be open to being wrong. I can acknowledge where I need to improve without feeling that I have to change who I am entirely.

And perhaps I can learn to be a little more comfortable with the possibility that not everyone will understand or agree with me.

I Guess I Just Need A Little Less Second-Guessing

After all, the goal isn't to be liked by everyone. It's to do my job responsibly, make informed decisions and remain willing to learn.

So, thank you, Michael Olise, for this rather unexpected reminder.

Well, well, well. Who would have thought I'd be getting life lessons from footballers lately? 😂⚽

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A Parenting Reflection Inspired by Harry Kane's Ballon d'Or Win

Harry Kane won the 2026 Men's Ballon d'Or!

Many football fans were genuinely happy for him. Some even commented that Kane's win felt like Robert Lewandowski and all the other deserving footballers who had never won the award were finally getting their moment too.

I thought that was quite an intriguing sentiment.

Source: meetunnadkat

But what really got me thinking was my youngest son telling me that he was thrilled Harry Kane won.

Now, I don't know exactly why he was so happy. Maybe he simply likes Kane as a footballer. But knowing my boy and the challenges he faces, particularly with his physical stature, I wonder whether he sees a little bit of himself in Kane's story.

Not Every Child Is a Messi or Lamine Yamal

Let's be realistic. Footballers like Lionel Messi and Lamine Yamal are extremely rare. They are exceptional talents who were already attracting attention at a very young age.

Most children who love football are not going to be like them. And that's okay.

My youngest son loves football. He does face challenges with his physical stature, whereby he's considerably smaller than many children his age.

In football, physical stature does matter. Of course, there are smaller players who are technically brilliant, but when you're a child playing against other children who are taller, stronger and faster, the physical differences can be quite obvious.

I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Just like many other children who play the sport, he needs to put in a lot of effort to become better.

But he enjoys football. And as his mother, I think that's a good enough reason to continue supporting his interest.

Harry Kane Didn't Exactly Have a Glorious Start

One of the things I find interesting about Kane's career is that he wasn't always considered a promising footballer.

He was released by Arsenal's academy when he was a young boy. He was also reportedly smaller than many of his teammates during his early years.

Even after joining Tottenham Hotspur, he didn't immediately become a superstar. He went through several loan spells at Leyton Orient, Millwall, Norwich City and Leicester City before finally establishing himself at Tottenham.

If you look at his career now, it's easy to forget that there was a time when he wasn't necessarily the player everyone expected to succeed.

You can read about his story on this IG post and this one too.

Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Now that Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, we can look back at his journey and talk about perseverance, determination and hard work.

But imagine being his parents when he was eight or nine years old and Arsenal decided he wasn't good enough for their academy.

At that point, nobody could have known that he would eventually become one of the world's best strikers.

His father apparently encouraged him to keep playing football instead of treating the rejection as the end of the road.

I think that's the part of Kane's story that resonates most with me as a parent.

Because when your child is still young, you really don't know how things will turn out.

Being Smaller Doesn't Mean He Should Have Fewer Opportunities

This is probably the most personal part of the story for me.

Because of my son's growth challenges, I'm very conscious of the fact that he may not be able to compete physically with some of his peers, at least for now. And yes, it does concern me sometimes.

I don't want him to become discouraged simply because other children are bigger or stronger. Neither do I want him to believe that being physically smaller means he's automatically less capable.

But I also have to be realistic.

There will be situations where physical differences put him at a disadvantage. There may be opportunities that he doesn't get, or teams that he doesn't make.

I can't protect him from every disappointment.

What I can do is make sure that I don't become another person who limits him before he's even had the chance to try.

If he wants to play football, let him play. If he needs extra practice, we'll find ways to help him. If he struggles with something, we'll work on it.

And if one day he decides that football is no longer something he wants to pursue, that's fine too.

I don't want to decide his future based on how tall he is today.

Interestingly, Kane has spoken about being one of the smaller players when he was young before going through a growth spurt.

Now, I'm not saying my son will follow the same path. His growth challenges are something we're addressing separately, and every child's development is different.

But it is a useful reminder that children develop differently, physically and in terms of their abilities.

What we see at nine or ten years old isn't necessarily what we'll see at fifteen or twenty.

So yes, I'm happy Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or too.

Not because I expect my son to follow in his footsteps, but because Kane's story is a reminder that not everyone starts out as the obvious favourite.

And as parents, perhaps we should be a little more patient with children who need more time to find their footing.

After all, we're raising children, not scouting for the next Ballon d'Or winner. Haha.

Harry Kane's Men's Ballon d'Or Win Speech

The part of his speech that I find meaningful:

"For any young boy or girl wanting to achieve their dreams, anything is possible with hard work when no one else is watching. To go through the ups and downs, to learn through resilience, determination and self-belief. Like I said, anything is possible.

My journey, it wasn't straightforward. I wasn't the kid who went straight to the top. I had to experience the downs. I experienced a lot of long moves. I had to fight my way to be the very best right now, and hope that can give you inspiration as well."

- Harry Kane - 

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Can ChatGPT Be My Personal Stylist? A Plus-Size Petite Experiment

Have You Heard of Personal Styling?

About 6 or 7 years ago, I had a personal colour consultation with a personal stylist friend, who told me I belonged to the Warm Spring colour season.

Now it is late 2026, and I start to wonder whether that assessment still applies because I'm now older and heavier. Haha.

And while we're at it, could ChatGPT help me figure out my personal style without having to engage another stylist?

So, I decided to run an experiment using AI.

Now I'm a Sage and a Mystic.

Wait, what is this? ChatGPT started the analysis by pointing me to the feminine archetypes questionnaire on Traitprint, which categorises personality characteristics into 12 archetypes.

My results were pretty interesting.

• The Sage: Wisdom, clarity and quiet authority.
• The Mystic: Intuition, depth and the inner world.
• The Lover, Rebel, Queen and Huntress: A four-way tie for the next position.

I wasn't particularly surprised by Sage. I do enjoy questioning things, understanding how they work and looking for evidence before drawing conclusions.

The Mystic archetype, on the other hand, is used to describe introspection, trusting one's intuition and seeking deeper meaning. And I do trust my gut feelings quite a lot.

Of course, these archetype questionnaires aren't scientifically validated personality assessments. I treated the results as an engaging exercise in self-reflection rather than a definitive description of who I am.

From Feminine Archetypes to Personal Style

ChatGPT suggested that my Sage-Mystic combination could translate into a style that was understated, sophisticated and slightly unconventional.

It even gave my style an identity: The Intuitive Elegant. Quite atas-sounding, isn't it? Haha.

According to this interpretation, the Sage influence favours clean lines, structure and timeless pieces, while the Mystic adds depth through colours, textures and subtle accessories.

I rather liked the idea.

After all, I've always been drawn to looking effortlessly polished without appearing overdressed.

But there's a difference between admiring a particular aesthetic and being able to wear it comfortably, which brings me to the next obvious challenge.

The Plus-Size Petite Problem

If you're familiar with the combination of plus size and petite, you'll probably understand why finding flattering clothing isn't always straightforward.

Many petite styling recommendations seem designed for slim women with a flat tummy and a small waist, while plus-size fashion often assumes a taller and voluptuous frame.

So where does that leave someone who is both petite and plus-size? Add a fuller midsection in midlife, and things become even more complicated.

So over the years, I've developed some fairly specific clothing preferences.

I love pencil skirts, particularly knee-length and ankle-length ones. I also wear fitted pants, usually paired with long, loose tops that provide coverage around my stomach and bottom.

Dresses? Not really my thing. I almost always feel frumpy in them.

Heels? No, thank you. I only wear sneakers or ballet flats any day.

I even told ChatGPT about all my preferences and current stylings. Surely all this information would help it understand my style better, right?

Well, not immediately.

AI Keeps Dressing Me Up Like a Slim Woman

Here's where the experiment became irritating.

Despite knowing my height, body proportions and clothing preferences, ChatGPT repeatedly showed me styling examples featuring slim petite women.

But were they representative of my body type? NO.

Eventually, I pointed it out myself to ChatGPT, as I was getting impatient.

To its credit, ChatGPT acknowledged the oversight and revised its recommendations to consider the actual challenges of dressing a plus-size petite frame.

That was probably the most useful moment of the entire exercise.

It basically shows that personalised recommendations aren't necessarily personal just because an algorithm has been fed information about you.

Sometimes, you still need to challenge the recommendations before they become relevant.

So, What Did ChatGPT Recommend Eventually?

After quite a lengthy conversation, we arrived at a style profile that actually made sense to me.

The colour direction remained Warm Spring, based mainly on my previous professional consultation.

As for my wardrobe, the recommendations became much more practical.

Instead of suggesting dresses or oversized clothing, ChatGPT focused on what I already enjoy wearing: pencil skirts, fitted trousers, relaxed but structured blouses, comfortable footwear and simple accessories.

It suggested experimenting with warm ivory, deep teal, chocolate brown, caramel and coral rather than relying entirely on black.

Black, by the way, has long been one of my preferred colours, mainly because I find it useful for drawing less attention to my midsection.

The most useful advice wasn't about changing my personal style completely. It was about paying closer attention to garment proportions, shoulder fit, fabric drape, blouse length and waistband comfort.

In other words, work with what I like instead of trying to turn me into someone else.

So, Can ChatGPT Really Replace a Personal Stylist?

After this experiment, my answer would be this: Not entirely.

ChatGPT was useful for brainstorming outfit combinations, exploring colour palettes and helping me articulate my preferences, but it also made assumptions.

It initially overlooked my body proportions when providing visual examples, and some suggestions were more generic.

A qualified personal stylist can assess fabric, fit, proportions and how different garments actually look on a person. ChatGPT cannot fully replicate that experience through a conversation and a couple of photographs.

Still, it offered something useful: an opportunity to examine my wardrobe choices more consciously.

I realised that I already have a fairly consistent personal style. I favour streamlined bottoms, relaxed tops, comfortable shoes and understated elegance.

Perhaps I don't need to reinvent my wardrobe after all.

I just need to be more deliberate about how I put everything together.

**********

Another blog post that I wrote a few months ago, which I find quite interesting when I read it again: What AI Thinks My Personality Is (After Two Years of Conversations)

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Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things

I've been watching quite a bit of crime television lately.

I recently finished all three seasons of the Turkish series Graveyard (Mezarlık), I'm currently on Season 3 of The Rookie, and I've finally reached Season 12 of Bones.

They are three crime procedurals that give me very different viewing experiences.

Graveyard is intense and often emotionally heavy. The Rookie is a much lighter watch, with plenty of humour and entertaining characters. Bones has been a long-running favourite, particularly because of its combination of science, criminal investigations, and character dynamics.

While watching these shows, I realised something about the characters that stood out to me across all three series.

Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie

For example, the character Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie. He is a ruthless psychopathic criminal - manipulative, opportunistic and certainly not someone I'd want anywhere near my personal or professional life.

But he's brilliant at surviving. He reads situations, identifies opportunities and makes himself useful when necessary. Even when circumstances are stacked against him, he somehow manages to find a way to stay in the game.

I find him thoroughly entertaining. You ask, would I trust him? Absolutely not. Hahaha. But I find his resourcefulness rather impressive, though it doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Inspector Önem from Graveyard

Then there's Inspector Önem from Graveyard.

She's truly capable, although she's severely underestimated in the beginning. She's determined and willing to challenge institutional failures, particularly when investigating crimes against women. She doesn't always have an easy relationship with the people around her, but she knows what she's doing.

What I enjoyed most about the first two seasons was the team dynamic between Önem, Serdar, Hasan, Selin and Berk.

They have different personalities, strengths and ways of approaching situations. They don't always agree, and they get frustrated with one another quite frequently. But they know how to work together when it matters.

However, Season 3 was disappointing. The storyline became unnecessarily complicated with an unsatisfying ending. After three seasons of investing in these characters, I expected a better resolution.

Still, I enjoyed watching how the team functioned in the earlier two seasons.

Dr Lance Sweets from Bones

And then, Bones! I've always appreciated the different expertise that each character brings to the investigations. Dr Brennan is exceptionally knowledgeable, Booth has his investigative instincts, and the Jeffersonian team (Hodgins, Angela, Dr Saroyan, and the whole rotation of interns) contributes its scientific expertise.

But my favourite character will always be Dr Lance Sweets. To me, he is the GOAT! Hahaha.

He's intelligent, perceptive, funny and kind. He understands human behaviour and can recognise things that others overlook. He doesn't need to be the most senior or authoritative person in the room to demonstrate his value.

What I particularly liked was how he could challenge Booth and Brennan without trying to compete with either of them. He knew what he brought to the table.

Competence, Likeability, Trust

Thinking about these characters, I realise that competence, likeability and trust are not necessarily the same thing.

Here's how I look at it:

Despite being a criminal, Oscar gets things done, but he primarily uses his abilities to protect his own interests, which means his intelligence doesn't make him reliable or trustworthy.

Sweets, on the other hand, combines competence with sincerity and a genuine concern for others, which makes him very likeable.

And Önem demonstrates her abilities through her actions, earning trust from her teammates, even when circumstances are difficult.

The Distinction That Matters Beyond TV Characters

Over the years, I've worked with people whose personalities and approaches are very different from mine. Some are systematic and detail-oriented; others are more intuitive or spontaneous.

I don't necessarily have a problem with either approach.

I can appreciate someone's abilities even when they work differently from me because I don't expect everyone to think the same way or arrive at decisions through the same process.

What matters the most to me is this: "Can the person deliver what they have promised and committed to doing?"

Trust is an important workplace "currency" that I associate with consistency, accountability, and demonstrated behaviour.

A confident personality who can make grand promises doesn't automatically establish competence. Neither does seniority, a job title or being particularly good at talking.

Likewise, having a difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks ability or competency.

I've become more conscious of separating these things rather than treating them as interchangeable.

I can recognise someone's strengths without liking everything about them; I can appreciate intelligence without needing to know how it's used; and I have become very deliberate in creating opportunities to earn and learn trust, which is a very expensive "currency".

Perhaps that's also why I enjoy ensemble casts. Different characters contribute different abilities, and not everyone needs to be the star.

Anyway, I'm still watching The Rookie, and I'm quite happy to keep it as a light, entertaining series.

No need for every episode to provide an important life lesson.

Although, apparently, I can't even watch a fictional criminal like Oscar Hutchinson without thinking about competence and trust.

Hahaha.

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Xennial Women's Bingo

I'm a Xennial.

Xennial is the micro-generation that sits between younger Gen X and older Millennials, with the commonly cited range being 1977-1983.

The top half of our lives was extraordinarily analogue. We have made mixtapes, survived dial-up internet, lived perfectly well without smartphones and somehow managed to meet people without sharing our live location. 😂

We also grew up when health information came largely from parents, magazines, doctors and whatever someone's aunty said. Then we became adults during the internet revolution.

Now we are in our 40's, entering perimenopause in an era of wearables, podcasts, TikTok doctors, supplements, HRT debates, health influencers, private screening packages, AI and Dr Google.

We are taking words like oestrogen, ApoB, visceral fat, bone density and insulin resistance seriously.

In fact, some of us could be taking magnesium, trying to sleep earlier, interpreting blood test results, and asking more questions before and during medical appointments.

I made a Xennial Women's Bingo card.

How many boxes can you tick? 😂

Actually, I'm also curious about something slightly more serious: How does a generation of women who grew up trusting traditional sources of health information navigate an overwhelming abundance of health information at midlife?

Because we may be the last generation that grew up without the internet, and one of the first to navigate midlife with almost unlimited health information at our fingertips.

This combination fascinates me.

When curiosity becomes a commitment.

What started as an interest in understanding this stage of life has developed into something broader.

I'm increasingly curious about how women search for health information, whom they trust, and how they decide what is worth buying, trying or paying for.

And to be honest... I've been thinking about what it means to pursue an intellectual interest seriously, especially at this stage of life.

Professional experience doesn't automatically translate into academic research competence. There are new methods to learn, assumptions to challenge and different standards of evidence to understand.

Looks like, somewhere along the way, my curiosity has become more deliberate. I'm no longer just reading because something interests me. I'm beginning to think about what it would take to contribute something meaningful to the subject.

That excites me as much as it intimidates me.

For now, I'll keep the curiosity burning as I prepare mentally and physically for my commitment for the next few years.

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Why I Refuse to Stay Quiet About Perimenopause | Menopause Awareness Month

October is Menopause Awareness Month

For generations, women went through menopause and the years leading up to it, pretty quietly. In this October, which is also the Month of Menopause Awareness, I've been thinking a lot about why that silence existed for so long and why I don't think we need to continue it.

For a very long time, older women's health wasn't something people talked about openly. Partly because menopause is considered a natural stage of life, so the expectation basically goes like this: "Every woman goes through it, so just tahan only lah."

And partly, I think, because nobody wanted to be judged. But unfortunately, some of that judgement comes from other women too. The most common one that I always hear is this: "Our mothers and grandmothers went through menopause too. They didn't make such a big fuss about it."

This is where I respectfully disagree.

What Our Mothers Didn't Say

Just because previous generations went through something silently doesn't mean they went through it comfortably.

• Maybe they didn't have the words for what they were feeling.
• Maybe nobody told them that the insomnia, anxiety, brain fog, rage, exhaustion, palpitations, changing periods, joint aches or loss of libido could all be connected.
• Maybe they did mention it to their doctors, but their doctors told them it was stress, ageing, motherhood, or simply part of being a woman.
• Or maybe they just got on with life because what other choice did they have?

To be very frank, I don't see their silence as proof that menopause wasn't challenging. Sometimes silence is just silence.

Yes, It's Natural, I Know

As a Gen X woman going through perimenopause right now, I feel that women of my generation are most likely among the first to talk about this stage of life so openly and publicly.

And to some women from earlier generations, we probably sound like we're making a lot of noise over something completely natural.

But here's the thing: 'natural' doesn't mean easy.

Yes, childbirth, period, and ageing – all these are natural occurrences in a woman's life. But pain is still pain.

For some women, perimenopause is fairly manageable. For others, the symptoms can be bloody unbearable.

On some days, the irritability is ridiculous, sleep can be rubbish, anxiety turns up for no obvious reason, or my mental bandwidth disappears much faster than it used to. And sometimes noise, people and normal everyday stuff are just TOO MUCH.

And when several of these things happen at the same time, being told "it's natural" doesn’t really help.

I know it's natural. But I still need to know what the hell is happening to me.

Talking About It Isn't the Same as Blaming Everything on Hormones

This one is important. Being vocal about perimenopause doesn't mean I want to put every woman in her 40s into a box:

• Bad mood? Hormones.
• Can't sleep? Hormones.
• Forgot something? Hormones.
• Annoyed with your husband? Definitely hormones. 😂

No lah.

There are many reasons someone might feel anxious, tired, foggy or unable to sleep. Some of those symptoms may need proper medical checks because there could be something else going on entirely.

I'm not trying to blame hormones for everything. I just want perimenopause to be part of the context, so we can ask better questions.

• Could this be hormonal?
• Could it be my thyroid?
• Am I low on something?
• Is it stress?
• Could it be something psychological?
• Should I see a doctor?
• Would treatment help?
• What lifestyle changes do I need?

Asking these questions isn't making excuses. It's about being able to make informed decisions and take charge of our health.

Silence Doesn't Make Us Stronger

I have huge respect for the women before us. They raised families, worked, looked after ageing parents and kept households running, all while their bodies were changing, usually with very little information or support.

But respecting their resilience doesn't mean we have to copy their silence.

First, if we know more now, why not talk about it?

Second, if treatments and support exist, why shouldn't women know about them?

Third, if talking about it can save another woman from spending years wondering, "Why am I becoming like this?" then I'd rather talk about it, bravely.

Why I'm Choosing to Be Vocal About It

This is also why being featured on Menopause Asia as an advocate means something to me.

I don't see advocacy as standing on a soapbox telling women what they should think or do. For me, advocacy means:

• Talking openly about what I'm experiencing.
• Sharing what I'm learning.
• Asking questions that perhaps women before us were never encouraged to ask.
• Helping another woman recognise that what she's going through deserves attention rather than dismissal.

I'm still learning myself; I don't have all the answers, and I don't think every midlife symptom should automatically be labelled perimenopause.

But I do think women deserve enough information to recognise when something has changed, enough confidence to ask why, and access to the right support if they need it.

That, to me, is what advocacy looks like.

I'm not talking about perimenopause because I think women are fragile but because women deserve to understand what is happening to their own bodies.

There's no prize for suffering quietly. And silence is something that we don't need to pass down.

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Discovering Nine Little Korean Banchan (Side Dishes)

One of my favourite things about having Korean food for lunch or dinner is the little spread of side dishes (banchan) that arrives before you have even properly started your meal.

I have eaten them many times at different Korean restaurants, happily picking from one little bowl to another, without really paying attention to what they really are.

But now, looking at this photo of banchan I had at the Korean Recipe restaurant at Bukit Jalil Golf & Country Resort, I realise something quite interesting.

Banchan (Korean Side Dishes)

I know which ones I like. I just don't always know what they are. So I decided to finally identify what was on this particular table.

1. Spicy sliced potatoes

The orange-red slices are potatoes, seasoned or pickled with chilli. Slightly spicy, slightly tangy and very easy to keep digging in.

2. Mashed potato salad

The pale yellow side dish beside it is mashed potato salad. It's buttery and creamy, making it a nice break from the stronger flavours around it.

3. Braised black beans

Those glossy black beans at the top are sweet-savoury and slightly chewy. It's one of those side dishes that looks basic but has a surprisingly strong flavour. This is probably my favourite of the lot!

4. Spicy cucumber

The cucumber chunk in red sauce is crunchy, refreshing and lightly spicy. This dish is probably one of the easiest banchan to recognise.

5. Rolled egg

The little rectangular piece in the middle is a rolled omelette. This dish is most likely one of the most common side dishes.

6. Pickled white radish

The pale pieces on the left are pickled radish. Crisp, slightly sweet and acidic, and very useful for cutting through richer food, especially if you're having grilled pork belly.

7. Stir-fried anchovies with peanuts

The little anchovies and peanuts on the right are crunchy, savoury and slightly sweet. This is the kind of side dish where you either take one bite or somehow finish half the bowl without noticing.

8. Pickled pink cabbage

The bright pink dish is a vinegar-based pickled cabbage. It's tart, crunchy and looks very pretty on the table.

9. Kimchi

And of course, kimchi! Fermented cabbage, chilli, sourness, spice and probably the one banchan almost everyone recognises.

Bibimbap

Oh yeah, the bigger bowl at the bottom of the photo is not a banchan hahaha. It's a bowl of bibimbap. I love the assortment of vegetables, colours and textures, especially when everything gets mixed together with the rice, egg and sauce into one gloriously messy bowl.

Life is Like Banchan

Anyway, back to banchan. What I like about banchan is that none of these dishes needs to be the star.

They don't outshine one another. Each has its own taste profile, its own role, and together they make the meal feel complete.

Life works a little like that too. Not everything needs to be the biggest, loudest, or most important thing on the table. Some things simply add contrast, balance or comfort.

Life is not about having one thing that defines everything. Sometimes, it's the combination of many small, different things that makes the whole experience richer.

 

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Looks Like Sarawak Is Becoming the Kind of Place We No Longer Have to Leave

Note: Created by ChatGPT

For years, many of us Sarawakians left our home state and moved to Klang Valley because we believed we had to. We left to study, work, seek more opportunities, and eventually build entire lives away from our hometowns.

About 30 years ago, I was one of them. I moved to Kuala Lumpur to study at Universiti Malaya. It was a practical thing to do because I had secured a spot at the most prestigious university in the country. I couldn't give up the opportunity; I had to grab it.

Fast forward to today, I am still here. I have a career, am married, and have children who are growing up knowing West Malaysia as home. I have also completed my master's degree study at Sunway University. Our routines, schools, work, friends and lives are here.

Relocating back to Sarawak is obviously not as straightforward as deciding one morning, "Okay lah, let's go home."

But lately, something has been making me think about whether I could consider building a life back in Sarawak.

Sarawak suddenly feels like it is developing at a breakneck pace.

Lately I have been seeing one development after another coming out of Sarawak. At first, I thought it was just my social media algorithm feeding me more Sarawak content.

Then I started looking deeper into it, and there really is quite a lot happening:

Note: Created by ChatGPT

• The economy is growing. Sarawak's economy reached RM153.5 billion in 2025, while GDP per capita stood at RM73,757, higher than the national figure of RM59,167. Source: Department of Statistics Malaysia, 2026
• Billions in investment are coming in. Sarawak recorded RM10.8 billion in approved investments in the first half of 2026. Source: MIDA, 2026
• Investments and plans are also emerging in renewable energy, hydrogen, digital infrastructure, AI and data centres, including the planned 500MW FutureData Park in Kuching. Source: InvestSarawak, 2026
• Phase One of the Kuching Urban Transportation System (KUTS) covers almost 70km with 28 stations, using hydrogen-powered Autonomous Rapid Transit (ART) vehicles and feeder buses. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
• A feasibility study for the proposed new Kuching International Airport at Tanjung Embang has been completed. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
• IKEA is opening its first East Malaysian store in Kuching. Source: IKEA, 2026

Then there is one development that caught my attention more than all the shiny new infrastructure. Maybe this is because I am a parent now.

Free Tertiary Education Scheme in Sarawak

From 2026, Sarawak has allocated RM250 million for its Free Tertiary Education Scheme. The scheme covers 64 undergraduate programmes across four Sarawak-owned institutions: Swinburne University of Technology Sarawak Campus, Curtin University Malaysia, University of Technology Sarawak and i-CATS University College.

For eligible students from lower-income households, there is also a living allowance of up to RM15,000 a year. The programmes are not randomly chosen. They include areas such as STEM, medicine, law, accounting, finance and psychology, with the stated intention of developing talent for Sarawak's future workforce.

There are other initiatives too. The 2026 Sarawak Budget includes RM30.5 million for the Free Laptop Programme, RM36 million for the operation of Yayasan Sarawak International Secondary Schools, and RM8 million for the Graduates Return to Sarawak Initiative, which subsidises flights for Sarawakian students studying in Peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and Labuan.

Wow!

Almost 30 years ago, I was one of the many students leaving Sarawak for tertiary education. If I were 18 today, looking at all these developments, would I still make the same decision?

I genuinely don't know.

And perhaps the more relevant question for me now is, "What does all this mean for my children?"

Here's where the numbers become more complicated.

I don't intend for this blog post to become one of those "Sarawak is booming, everyone let's go home!" pieces.

To put things into perspective, economic growth and shiny infrastructure are only one side of the equation.

Sarawak's unemployment rate was 3.2% in 2025, according to the Department of Statistics Malaysia. Although Sarawak's economy is substantial and growing, its economic structure is very different from Kuala Lumpur's. Services accounted for 39.3% of Sarawak's economy in 2025, compared with 91.7% in Kuala Lumpur.

These numbers matter to me because my professional background is in the service industry: marketing, content and digital work. My professional networks are here. Moving somewhere with a growing economy doesn't automatically mean there will be equivalent senior-level opportunities in my particular field.

There are also questions that GDP figures cannot answer. What are salaries like? What kinds of senior jobs are actually available? What about healthcare and specialist care as we get older? What opportunities would my children have as teenagers and eventually young adults? Would they reach 18 and tell me that they need to leave Sarawak for the same reasons I once did?

Those questions matter much more to me than the number of new buildings going up.

Because moving "home" after 30 years isn't really going home.

I still call Sarawak home, but I have spent more of my adult life in West Malaysia than I ever did living there. The Sarawak I remember from my childhood is inevitably imprinted somewhere in my memory, while the actual Sarawak has continued changing without me.

So relocating wouldn't really mean returning to my old life. It would mean building another one.

And this time, I couldn't make the decision only for myself. I have my family, career, friends, routines, and an entire ecosystem that I have built over nearly three decades.

Which is also why I am definitely not packing boxes now. Lol.

But I guess I can start preparing my children for the free education in Sarawak.

Maybe that's where this begins. Not with a plan to move home, but with the realisation that Sarawak has changed enough for me to start thinking about it.

Disclaimer: The views, reflections and opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own. This blog post and its accompanying images were co-created with ChatGPT, which I used as a research, writing and creative tool. All final editorial decisions, interpretations and opinions are mine.

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September Is Perimenopause Awareness Month

What Exactly Is Perimenopause?

If there's one thing I've realised from learning more about this stage of life, it's this: many women enter perimenopause without really knowing what to expect.

We know that menopause is when menstruation stops. This is the simplest explanation.

But perimenopause, the transition phase before menopause, can last up to 8 to 10 years before menopause actually occurs.

During perimenopause, which Dr Mary Claire Haver describes as the Zone of Chaos, hormones such as estrogen, progesterone and testosterone become increasingly unpredictable, and the effects can show up in ways that don't immediately seem hormonal at all: brain fog, anxiety, poor sleep, mood changes, joint aches, palpitations, changes in body composition and many more.

Which is why, so many women in their 40s seem to describe similar experiences:

"Maybe I'm just stressed."

"Maybe I'm just getting old already lah."

"Why don't I feel like myself anymore?"

And then you finally start connecting the dots.

Discovering the Perimenopause Rollercoaster

My Blog Posts

I thought estrogen was just a reproductive hormone. Here's what I learnt about estrogen's role in brain fog, mood, sleep and other perimenopause changes.

Why do anxiety, irritability, and poor sleep feel different in perimenopause? Here's what I learnt about progesterone and feeling less steady in midlife.

Feeling flat, less motivated or low in energy? Here's what I learnt about testosterone in women and how it may affect drive, strength, and midlife.

Aha. No wonder lah!

Perimenopause Deserves More Conversations

Awareness matters because recognising that these changes could be related to perimenopause gives us more context. It helps us ask better questions, seek appropriate support and have more informed conversations about what is happening to our bodies.

If you're wondering whether some of the changes you’ve been experiencing could be related to perimenopause, you can also reach out to Menopause Asia.

It is a digital platform that connects women with independently licensed doctors, reliable information and practical midlife health resources, with the aim of making menopause support easier to access and navigate. Menopause Asia itself is not a healthcare provider; medical consultations are provided independently by licensed healthcare professionals.

Sometimes, knowing what might be happening is already a very useful first step.

So this September, maybe tell another woman what you've learnt too.

Because the more openly we talk about perimenopause, the less likely someone else is to spend years thinking: "What on earth is wrong with me?"

❤️ Share this with a woman who might need her own Aha, No Wonder Lah moment.

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Where Did My Spark Go?

After learning about the chaotic behaviour of fluctuating estrogen and progesterone during perimenopause, I thought I understood this whole hormone situation.

Then testosterone came along.

Women Have Testosterone Too

What? Seriously? 

Did you know that women have testosterone too? This was probably the first misconception I had to get rid of.

Testosterone is not exclusively a male hormone. Women produce it too, just in smaller amounts.

Source: Instagram | joiedevivrefit

In women, testosterone supports:

• Energy and vitality
• Libido
• Muscle and strength
• Bone health
• Confidence and drive
• Cognitive sharpness
• Skin and hair

Okay wait.

So, estrogen has its hands in almost everything.

Progesterone is involved in calmness and sleep.

And now testosterone is in the picture, deciding whether I still have energy, drive, and motivation.

How many functions are these hormones actually running? 😑

The "I've Lost My Spark" Feeling

Because low testosterone in women can be described less like feeling unwell and more like this vague sense of flatness.

It's not necessarily sadness or depression. Just... "I don't feel like I used to."

Some women describe it as:

"I've lost my spark."

"I feel flat."

"I'm going through the motions."

"I don't recognise myself."

That whole cluster stood out to me because it's such a subtle thing.

There may not be anything dramatically wrong; you're still functioning, going to work, doing what needs to be done, and showing up.

But somewhere along the way, the enthusiasm feels smaller and the drive is less.

The "I can't be bothered" moments become more frequent.

And you may start wondering, "Am I just tired? Lazy? Burnt out? Bored? Getting old? Or is there something else going on too?"

Then There Is the Energy Problem

This one is interesting, because "tired" can mean so many things.

There's sleepy tired, physically exhausted tired, and mentally overloaded tired.

And then there's this other kind of "tired" where you can technically do something but just don't feel like it.

Because the motivation, enthusiasm, and that forward momentum are missing.

Now to be fair, sometimes I genuinely cannot be bothered because the thing is annoying and I have reached that stage in life where I no longer want to waste energy pretending otherwise. 😂

But still.

I find it striking that testosterone is also associated with drive and vitality, because those are not usually the things women are taught to connect with hormones.

Strength Training Is a Big Deal

Declining testosterone has been linked to reduced muscle mass, less physical resilience and shifts in body composition. This is probably the most practical takeaway I got from this topic.

Experts put a lot of emphasis on resistance or strength training and suggest two to three sessions a week as an important part of supporting strength and muscle in midlife.

Strength training seems to be the "prescription" for almost everything related to perimenopause, bone health, muscle mass, and metabolism.

Sigh, I suppose this is one of those moments where I can no longer pretend I didn't get the memo.

Looks like I need to stop avoiding strength training. 😑

Excuses Vs Context

Anyway, learning about hormones isn't about finding an excuse.

It's about understanding that sometimes there is more context behind the question, "Why don't I feel like myself anymore?"

Maybe the better questions are, "What has changed?" and "What can I do?"

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