Why I Finally Feel Better (And My Brain Is No Longer in the Longkang 😄)

What Changed?

In my previous post, I shared how speaking with a menopause specialist helped me make sense of what I was experiencing.

It has been six weeks since that consultation session. I realise I have been feeling better: my sleep has improved, my mind feels clearer, and most noticeably, the "brain in the longkang" feeling that I experienced before is no longer so obvious.

It came from a few things working together (as prescribed by my menopause specialist doctor).

1) Supporting hormonal balance (Oestrogel* gel in the morning daily)

2) Improving sleep quality (200 mg magnesium glycinate every night)

3) Correcting underlying deficiencies (25,000 IU vitamin D3 once a week)

*Note: I already have a Mirena IUD (which provides a progesterone-like hormone (levonorgestrel)) to protect my uterine lining, so additional oral progesterone is not required.

Why Sleep Made Such a Big Difference

When my doctor said that my improvement was likely due to better sleep, it made sense. When sleep improves, other areas tend to improve as well. My thinking becomes clearer, my mood becomes more stable, my energy levels improve, and my cravings for sweet things reduce.

Sleep allows the body to recover and function more efficiently.

A More Stable Version of Me

What I am experiencing now does not feel like a temporary boost. It feels like a return to a more stable state. I feel less foggy, less reactive, and more consistent throughout the day.

What I'm Focusing on Next

Following my recent consultation at the 6th-week mark, I now have a clearer idea of what else to work on next on top of the treatment modalities mentioned above.

These are not drastic changes, but practical adjustments that I can build into my daily routine over time.

First, I'm working on adjusting my sleep schedule. The goal is to be asleep before 11:30 pm so that I can wake up around 8:00 am more consistently. Since better sleep has already made a noticeable difference, maintaining a regular sleep rhythm is a priority.

Second, I'm starting to build a morning exercise habit. The focus is not intensity, but consistency. Even a short session in the morning is enough to begin with. The aim is to make movement a regular part of my routine before work.

Third, I'll be scheduling a blood test (at the 16th week) to review my vitamin D3 levels (last I checked, I was in the deficiency band) and check my thyroid function. This is to ensure that there are no other underlying factors affecting my energy, mood, or overall well-being.

These steps feel manageable and realistic. More importantly, they feel aligned with where I am right now.

A Work in Progress

I may not have everything figured out. However, I am learning that this stage of life is not about doing more or pushing harder. It is about understanding my body better and responding in a more intentional way.

I will see how these changes work over the next few weeks and share an update.

My #PerimenopauseAndMenopause Series

If you're new to this series, here's what you can find out more:

Part 1: I Haven't Quite Felt Like Myself

Part 2: Breaking Down or Waking Up

Part 3: When Burnout Isn't Burnout

Part 4: A Visit That Made Me Feel Seen and Understood

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A Visit That Made Me Feel Seen and Understood About Perimenopause

So I have written about something many women quietly experience – the moment when burnout does not quite feel like burnout anymore. If you missed it, you can read it here: "The Subtle Changes of Your Forties: When Burnout Might Actually Be Perimenopause".

Taking the Next Step

After recognising that some of the changes I was experiencing could be linked to perimenopause, I decided to do something about it. So I went for a consultation with Dr. Premitha Damodaran, a menopause specialist at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur.

I went in with a list of symptoms: mood swings, sleep disruptions, brain fog, cholesterol shifts, etc., but I also went in with a quiet question: is this really what I think it is?

A Consultation That Looked at the Whole Picture

What I appreciated most about the session was how the consultation itself was not rushed. Instead, it felt like a thoughtful conversation. 

She asked about different aspects of my health, not just one isolated symptom. We spoke about my cholesterol levels; menstrual cycle – how regular or irregular it has been; and weight changes. She also asked about my Mirena IUD and why I chose to have it.

But the conversation did not stop there. Beyond that, she explored things that are often easy to dismiss, such as my sleep patterns, mood changes, memory, and even whether I had any joint pain or bowel changes. These things are usually ignored or dismissed, but they are actually part of the bigger picture.

Our body does not work in isolation. Everything is connected. Hence, it makes total sense to also look at all these different aspects of health.

Understanding What My Body Is Already Doing

One of the most reassuring parts of the consultation was realising that my body is not "falling apart". Without going into too much detail, what I wanted to say is that the narrative was changed from "something is wrong" to "something needs to be balanced".

Starting with the Foundation: Sleep

Interestingly, we are not trying to fix everything at once. The first focus is sleep. She explained that improving sleep can influence many other areas such as energy levels, mood, and even the ability to stay consistent with lifestyle habits.

Start with the foundation, and let the rest build from there.

We also spoke about exercise. Not as something I need to force immediately, but as something to build into gradually, especially weight training, once my sleep and energy improve.

There is a time to push, and there is a time to restore. Not as a pressure to immediately "do more", but as a next step when my body is ready. This perspective stayed with me.

Rather than trying to fix everything at once, we start with something that supports the body more holistically. And sometimes, restoration needs to come first.

Walking Away Feeling Supported

If my previous article was about awareness, this experience was about reassurance.

There is something deeply comforting about being heard, understood, and guided with clarity. It reminded me that navigating perimenopause does not have to be confusing or isolating. With the right support, it becomes something we can understand, manage, and even learn from.

I am still at the beginning of this journey. There will likely be adjustments along the way, like new observations, new questions, and perhaps new insights.

But for now, I feel more grounded. Not because everything is solved, but because I understand a little more about what my body is going through. And I truly believe that understanding is the most important first step.

Watch Dr. Premitha's short video about perimenopause.

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How I Bought My Crystal Infusion Memory Foam Pillow from Harvey Norman

I've been wanting to upgrade my pillow for a while now. Between juggling work, studies, and sleep deprivation, a comfortable pillow suddenly felt like a very urgent form of self-care.

But the moment I stepped into Harvey Norman's bedding section, I realised choosing a pillow is not as simple as "soft or firm".

My goodness! There were Microgel, Microfibre, Feather, Memory Foam, AIR Memory, Silk Cotton, Natural Latex. Each promised support, cooling, breathability, posture alignment, or some kind of sleep magic.

And then there's me: A confused shopper who just wants a pillow that won't give me neck and shoulder pain and will let me fall asleep faster.

How the Bedding Manager at Harvey Norman Helped Me Make Sense of Everything Pillows

Honestly, I would never have chosen the right pillow on my own. Karen Ng, the Bedding Section Manager (bless her!) at Harvey Norman's Kiara Bay outlet took one look at my overwhelmed face and came over.

The first thing she asked me (which I didn't expect) was: "What bed are you sleeping on?"

I told her my hubby purchased a Van Vorst Backpedic Care from Havey Norman, a bed designed for firm, orthopaedic-style support.

And that changed everything.

She explained that the type of bed you sleep on influences what kind of pillow you should use. A firmer mattress, like my Backpedic Care, raises your body slightly, so your pillow height and firmness need to complement that. If not, your neck ends up tilting at an awkward angle.

So, instead of something soft and sink-in, she recommended a Memory Foam pillow with better contouring and structural support. She insisted that I test the pillow by lying on the same bed model in the outlet. And honestly, this is truly customer service at its best.

That's how I ended up looking at the Crystal Infusion Memory Foam Pillow, something I probably would have dismissed earlier because the name sounded a little too mystical for my practical brain.

Why I Picked the Crystal Infusion Memory Foam Pillow

Once she explained the support and alignment benefits, I started paying attention to the details.

Here's what made me choose it:

Memory Foam that Actually Supports the Neck

This isn't the super-hard, old-school memory foam. The pillow has a smooth contour that fits the neck and shoulders, especially for side and back sleepers.

It's Infused with Natural Crystals (Yes, Really)

The "crystal" part caught my eye mostly because it sounded unusual. The pillow contains a Biocrystal® mixture like amethyst, quartz, fluorite, rose quartz, red jasper, and more embedded inside the foam.

Does it magically heal your chakras? I don’t know. But what convinced me was actually the research charts on the box showing reduced muscle tension, calmer heart rate, and improved relaxation.

Even if you don't fully buy into the crystal-wellness aspect, the idea of a pillow designed to promote relaxation didn't sound like a bad thing.

Cooling and Breathable Cover

Malaysia is hot. Memory foam can get warm. So the air-flow friendly cover and breathable construction felt like a must.

It Pairs Well with My Firm Backpedic Care Mattress

This was the ultimate deciding factor. The bedding manager recommended this specific pillow because the structure complements the firmness and height profile of my Van Vorst Backpedic Care bed.

It's like matching shoes to an outfit. The wrong pair can ruin the whole look (or in this case, your spine).

How Well Did I Sleep One Week Later?

So far? It's supportive without feeling like I'm sleeping on a brick. The contour helps my neck settle into a neutral position, and I don't toss around trying to find the "right angle" anymore.

And whether it's the foam, the crystals, or simply the fact that I finally invested in the right pillow, I do fall asleep faster.

What I Learned from this Whole Pillow Shopping Experience

If you're thinking of getting a new pillow too, here are three things I wish I knew earlier:

1. Your pillow must match your mattress.

Soft bed: Firmer pillow

Firm bed: Slightly softer or contour-support pillow

Neutral bed: Depends on your sleeping position

2. Your sleeping position matters.

Side sleeper: You need height and support

Back sleeper: Medium firmness and contouring

Stomach sleeper: Something flatter

3. Don't choose based on feel alone. Get expert help.

The bedding manager immediately narrowed down the options once she knew my mattress brand. It saved me time, confusion, and a potential wrong purchase.

Would I Recommend the Crystal Infusion Pillow?

Yes, if you're a side or back sleeper, prefer structured support, and sleep on a firmer mattress.

If you like soft, sink-in pillows, or if you're a stomach sleeper, this might be too high or too firm for you.

But for me? It's the right balance of comfort, support, and a touch of wellness (crystals and all!).

Thanks Karen Ng from Harvey Norman Kiara Bay!

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10 Healthy Rules for A Good Night's Sleep (Sleep Hygiene Tips)

Why is sleep important?

 

Studies have shown that getting adequate quality sleep is beneficial for your physical health, mental well-being, cognitive functions, and overall productivity.

 

Getting good sleep is like giving your body a superhero boost. It helps you think sharper, remember things better, and stay focused during the day.

 

Sleep isn't just downtime; it's when your body fixes itself, keeping your immune system strong and your heart healthy. Plus, when you get enough shut-eye, you're less likely to feel stressed or anxious. It's like a magic trick for your mood. So, don't underestimate the power of a good night's sleep – it's your secret weapon for feeling awesome every day!

 

What happens when there is disrupted sleep regularity?

Research by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute show that disrupted sleep regularity affect sleep health and lead to the onset, development, and exacerbation of many diseases.

Indications of poor sleep health includes:

• Sleep duration disorder: Too much or too little sleep. Inadequate sleep duration due to recurrent awakenings during sleep can affect daytime life.
  
• Sleep architecture disorder: Reduced or even no deep sleep and REM.
• Fragmented sleep: Frequent awakenings after falling asleep.
• Difficulty falling asleep: Fail to fall asleep quickly when you feel sleepy.
• Early awakening: Wake up much earlier than expected.
• Increased risks of diseases: Cardiovascular, endocrine, psychiatric, gastrointestinal, skin, menstrual cycle disorders.
• Lack of sleep contributes to muscle loss which leads to harder to lose body fat. Read about "Why Does Lack of Sleep Cause You to Gain Weight?"
  

What are the stages of sleep?

 

Light Sleep (NREM 1 and 2)

• You're in the early stages of sleep.
• Easily woken up, might feel like you're drifting.
• Lasts for a short time.

Deep Sleep (NREM 3 and 4)

• This is the really deep sleep, typically accounts for 10 to 35 percent of the total sleep time.
• It's hard to wake up during this stage.
• Relieves us from the day's exhaustion and helps our body recover strength.
• Your body repairs muscles, tissues, and boosts immune function.
• Sufficient deep / restorative sleep can help us feel more energetic the next day.
• Insufficient deep sleep affects our body's repair mechanisms, leading to accelerated aging, reduces our body's immunity, and may lead to endocrine disorders, predispose our body to insulin resistance and cardiovascular diseases, and cause or exacerbate high blood glucose.
  

REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep

• Typically accounts for 10 to 35 percent of the total sleep time.
  
• This is where most dreaming happens.
• Your eyes move quickly in different directions.
• Brain activity is high, similar to when you're awake, heart rate increases, breathing becomes irregular.
  
• This stage is crucial for learning, memory consolidation, and emotional management.
• Memory consolidation: It will integrate the things we experienced, people we saw, knowledge, and skills we learned during the day with similar memories from the past and formed new memories.
• Emotion management: The amygdala, a structure in the brain associated with emotion management, is activated during REM sleep and can help deal with destructive emotions.
  

 

Sleep cycles through these stages multiple times in a night. Each cycle takes about 90-110 minutes, and a good night's sleep involves several cycles.

Fragmented sleep or recurrent awakenings during sleep may disrupt sleep architecture, causing important restorative sleep (deep sleep and REM sleep) doesn't occur, persist, or function as it should. This can trigger mood swings which then leads to more frequent awakenings, difficulty falling back asleep, and early morning awakenings.

What is sleep hygiene?

 

Sleep hygiene refers to a set of practices and habits that promote healthy and restful sleep. These practices help ensure good habit of regular sleep, proper sleep quality, and overall well-being.

 

 

Therefore, adopting good sleep hygiene practices can greatly enhance your sleep quality and daily life.

 

What are the 10 healthy rules for a good night's sleep?

 

Rule #1: Establish a consistent sleep schedule

 

Establishing a consistent sleep schedule includes making a regular bedtime and wake-up schedule. Waking up at a fixed time each day is key to developing regular sleep. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body's internal clock and improves the quality of your sleep.

 

Rule #2: Take a short nap if you're tired during the day

 

Short power naps can be beneficial, but excessive daytime napping can interfere with nighttime sleep. If you need to nap, keep it short (20-30 minutes) and early in the day.

 

Rule #3: Avoid caffeine too late in the day or before bedtime

 

Avoid consuming caffeine-containing products and beverages especially when it's too late in the day because they may disrupt your sleep.

 

Rule #4: Avoid eating or snacking before bedtime

 

Heavy meals close to bedtime can lead to discomfort and disrupt sleep. Opt for light snacks if you need something before bed. Minimize the consumption of liquids before bedtime to prevent middle-of-the-night awakenings to use the bathroom.

 

Rule #5: Sleep on a comfortable bed

 

Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows that support your sleep posture.

 

Rule #6: Create a comfortable sleep environment

 

Your bedroom should be conducive to sleep in. Keep the room well-ventilated and maintain a comfortable temperature and humidity.

 

Rule #7: Block out noises and lights

 

Your bedroom should be conducive to sleep in. Keep the room dark and as quiet as possible.

 

Rule #8: Keep electronic gadgets and devices away during bedtime

 

The blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and computers can interfere with your body's production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep. Avoid or limit screen time at least an hour before bedtime.

 

Rule #9: Practice stress management & regular exercise

 

Chronic stress can disrupt sleep. Engage in stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to help calm your mind before bed. Regular exercise can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep. However, do avoid strenuous exercise 3 hours before bedtime.

 

Rule #10: Establish and stick to your bedtime routine

Develop a calming wind-down bedtime routine to signal to your body that it's time to relax. This could involve activities like reading, listening to soothing music, or practicing relaxation techniques. Complete bedtime preparation - bathing, relaxing, at a fixed time each night.

Also, go to bed only when you feel sleepy, and get out of bed as soon as possible instead of sleeping in after waking up in the morning.

 

 

As a wolf (sleep chronotype), I have issues going to bed early, so it's kinda hard for me to wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated every morning. So, I'm taking my time to establish the above 10 rules. Wish me luck!

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I'm a Wolf (Sleep Chronotype)

 What is a sleep chronotype?

 

A sleep chronotype refers to an individual's natural preference for when they feel most alert and awake during a 24-hour period.

 

Basically, a sleep chronotype refers to our body's internal clock (circadian rhythm) that influences when we naturally feel more energetic and when we feel more inclined to sleep.

 

Sleep chronotype quiz

 

Most of us can associate with one of these four animal chronotypes — bear, dolphin, wolf, or lion.

 

I took this sleep chronotype quiz and found out that I'm a wolf!

The Wolf

Source

 

Characteristics of a wolf (nocturnal chronotype animal) include:

 

• Introverted, reserved, creative, insightful, artistic, impulsive, emotionally intense.
  
• Can usually be left alone; don’t respond well if they are micromanaged or asked too many questions.
• Desires sleeping in (definitely not a morning person).
  
• Prefers to wake up later in the day, snoozes the alarm relentlessly most of the time.
• Prefers to cruise through the morning and takes time to get going in the morning before adjusting to the day's demands.
  
• Creativity, productivity, and performance peak late into the afternoon to evening. Therefore, to optimize productivity, wolves should save essential tasks until the afternoon.
• Most productive at night, enjoy working after hours when the rest of society is winding down for the evening.
• Don't start feeling tired until midnight, prefers to stay up late and go to bed past midnight ("night owl").
  

 

So accurate! It's very true that I get most of my day's tasks done in the evening, especially when the office is devoid of people. Hahaha! Then, I also really enjoy working late at night because that's when my productivity is at its peak and the world is quiet and I can think and strategize.

Best schedule for a wolf

 

According to MindBodyGreen, a wolf should resist the urge to sleep late and try to get at least 7 hours of sleep to be able to perform their best.

 

Here's a recommended schedule according to Casper.com.

 

• 7:30am - 9:00am : Wake up
• 10:00am - 12:00pm : Focus on lighter tasks
• 12:00pm - 2:00pm : Complete deep or creative work
• 2:00pm - 5:00pm : Focus on lighter, less intense tasks
• 5:00pm - 9:00pm : Engage in creative tasks
• 9:00pm - 10:00pm : Unwind from the day
• 10:00pm - 12:00am : Prepare for bed
• 12:00am - 7:30am : Sleep

 

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Why Does Lack of Sleep Cause You to Gain Weight?

Source

 

Numerous studies have shown that if we get less sleep than we need, our weight tends to increase. According to CDC, 18 to 60 years old adults should aim to get 7 or more hours of sleep each night. In fact, sleeping fewer than the recommended 7 hours each night may increase the risk of weight gain and obesity.

Question is, why? Why does lack of sleep cause weight gain?

 

Would you agree with me if I say that when we think about managing our weight, diet and exercise are the two key factors that come to mind immediately, right? Yes, eating healthily and exercising regularly will help to keep our weight in check, no doubt.

 

But did you know that adequate sleep plays an important role too? I didn't know about this matter until recently. To be honest, it's kind of hard to accept until I look into the science behind sleep and weight loss.

What actually happens when we are sleep deprived?

 

I will talk about two things in this post. First, sleep deprivation slows fat loss and burns muscle. Second, lack of sleep triggers five different hormones that have a direct impact on your weight.

Ready?

 

Sleep deprivation slows fat loss and burns muscle

 

Source

 

According to The Science of Fitness - Sci-Fit, sleep deprivation will put your body in a catabolic state. This means you may gain fat and lose muscle mass.

 

Now you may wonder what's the relationship between fat gain and muscle loss.

Here's a very good description explained by Dr. Michael Roizen, MD: "Adding muscle to your body burns fat because, well, muscle needs energy to survive. A pound of muscle uses between 75 and 150 calories a day (remember, it's working and using energy), while a pound of fat only needs 3 calories a day (fat does nothing to help your body, the ingrate, so it doesn't need energy to maintain itself). Maintaining that friendly, fat-burning muscle mass only takes a few minutes—10 minutes, three times a week, to be exact."

This means, when you have lower muscle mass, your body couldn't burn fat effectively. In a nutshell, lack of sleep contributes to muscle loss which leads to harder to lose body fat.

Source

 

According to the infographic above from Bodylogiq.com, the conclusion as shown by studies is that sleep-deprived people lose more fat-free mass (i.e., muscle and water).

 

Source

Now let's talk about the hormones.

Lack of sleep triggers five different hormones that have a direct impact on your weight

 

First, lack of sleep reduces your fat cell's ability to respond to insulin by 30% (less sensitive), which increases blood sugar levels that cause weight gain.

 

Source

Second, your hunger hormone (ghrelin) goes into overdrive so your desire to eat high calorie food increases.

 

Third, the hormone that signals fullness (leptin) plunges, resulting in permanent hunger pangs and causing you to overeat.

 

Fourth, stress hormone (cortisol), surges with lack of sleep, making your body store more fat, especially in the belly.

 

Fifth, less deep sleep deprives your body of the Human Growth Hormone (HGH), hence decreasing the rate at which your body burns fat.

Source

How to sleep better?

I think for me, it starts with understanding why I should sleep for at least 7 hours. For an night owl like me, it's extremely difficult. However, there are a few things that can be done to start building a healthy sleep habit.

 

First, avoid large meals, alcohol, caffeine two to three hours before sleep. Second, develop a relaxing night-time routine including avoiding mobile phone and other sources of light that may interrupt your melatonin production. Third, establish a proper sleep environment free from noise and light. Fourth, adhere to a schedule even on weekends because by following a set schedule, you can help regulate your body's clock and stay asleep throughout the night.

 

Read more

 

The Science Behind Sleep and Weight Loss
Can lack of sleep cause weight gain?
Is a Lack of Sleep Sabotaging Your Weight Loss?
Does sleep affect weight loss? (Research Review)

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