A Parenting Reflection Inspired by Harry Kane's Ballon d'Or Win

Harry Kane won the 2026 Men's Ballon d'Or!

Many football fans were genuinely happy for him. Some even commented that Kane's win felt like Robert Lewandowski and all the other deserving footballers who had never won the award were finally getting their moment too.

I thought that was quite an intriguing sentiment.

Source: meetunnadkat

But what really got me thinking was my youngest son telling me that he was thrilled Harry Kane won.

Now, I don't know exactly why he was so happy. Maybe he simply likes Kane as a footballer. But knowing my boy and the challenges he faces, particularly with his physical stature, I wonder whether he sees a little bit of himself in Kane's story.

Not Every Child Is a Messi or Lamine Yamal

Let's be realistic. Footballers like Lionel Messi and Lamine Yamal are extremely rare. They are exceptional talents who were already attracting attention at a very young age.

Most children who love football are not going to be like them. And that's okay.

My youngest son loves football. He does face challenges with his physical stature, whereby he's considerably smaller than many children his age.

In football, physical stature does matter. Of course, there are smaller players who are technically brilliant, but when you're a child playing against other children who are taller, stronger and faster, the physical differences can be quite obvious.

I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Just like many other children who play the sport, he needs to put in a lot of effort to become better.

But he enjoys football. And as his mother, I think that's a good enough reason to continue supporting his interest.

Harry Kane Didn't Exactly Have a Glorious Start

One of the things I find interesting about Kane's career is that he wasn't always considered a promising footballer.

He was released by Arsenal's academy when he was a young boy. He was also reportedly smaller than many of his teammates during his early years.

Even after joining Tottenham Hotspur, he didn't immediately become a superstar. He went through several loan spells at Leyton Orient, Millwall, Norwich City and Leicester City before finally establishing himself at Tottenham.

If you look at his career now, it's easy to forget that there was a time when he wasn't necessarily the player everyone expected to succeed.

You can read about his story on this IG post and this one too.

Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Now that Kane has won the Ballon d'Or, we can look back at his journey and talk about perseverance, determination and hard work.

But imagine being his parents when he was eight or nine years old and Arsenal decided he wasn't good enough for their academy.

At that point, nobody could have known that he would eventually become one of the world's best strikers.

His father apparently encouraged him to keep playing football instead of treating the rejection as the end of the road.

I think that's the part of Kane's story that resonates most with me as a parent.

Because when your child is still young, you really don't know how things will turn out.

Being Smaller Doesn't Mean He Should Have Fewer Opportunities

This is probably the most personal part of the story for me.

Because of my son's growth challenges, I'm very conscious of the fact that he may not be able to compete physically with some of his peers, at least for now. And yes, it does concern me sometimes.

I don't want him to become discouraged simply because other children are bigger or stronger. Neither do I want him to believe that being physically smaller means he's automatically less capable.

But I also have to be realistic.

There will be situations where physical differences put him at a disadvantage. There may be opportunities that he doesn't get, or teams that he doesn't make.

I can't protect him from every disappointment.

What I can do is make sure that I don't become another person who limits him before he's even had the chance to try.

If he wants to play football, let him play. If he needs extra practice, we'll find ways to help him. If he struggles with something, we'll work on it.

And if one day he decides that football is no longer something he wants to pursue, that's fine too.

I don't want to decide his future based on how tall he is today.

Interestingly, Kane has spoken about being one of the smaller players when he was young before going through a growth spurt.

Now, I'm not saying my son will follow the same path. His growth challenges are something we're addressing separately, and every child's development is different.

But it is a useful reminder that children develop differently, physically and in terms of their abilities.

What we see at nine or ten years old isn't necessarily what we'll see at fifteen or twenty.

So yes, I'm happy Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or too.

Not because I expect my son to follow in his footsteps, but because Kane's story is a reminder that not everyone starts out as the obvious favourite.

And as parents, perhaps we should be a little more patient with children who need more time to find their footing.

After all, we're raising children, not scouting for the next Ballon d'Or winner. Haha.

0

Can ChatGPT Be My Personal Stylist? A Plus-Size Petite Experiment

Have You Heard of Personal Styling?

About 6 or 7 years ago, I had a personal colour consultation with a personal stylist friend, who told me I belonged to the Warm Spring colour season.

Now it is late 2026, and I start to wonder whether that assessment still applies because I'm now older and heavier. Haha.

And while we're at it, could ChatGPT help me figure out my personal style without having to engage another stylist?

So, I decided to run an experiment using AI.

Now I'm a Sage and a Mystic.

Wait, what is this? ChatGPT started the analysis by pointing me to the feminine archetypes questionnaire on Traitprint, which categorises personality characteristics into 12 archetypes.

My results were pretty interesting.

• The Sage: Wisdom, clarity and quiet authority.
• The Mystic: Intuition, depth and the inner world.
• The Lover, Rebel, Queen and Huntress: A four-way tie for the next position.

I wasn't particularly surprised by Sage. I do enjoy questioning things, understanding how they work and looking for evidence before drawing conclusions.

The Mystic archetype, on the other hand, is used to describe introspection, trusting one's intuition and seeking deeper meaning. And I do trust my gut feelings quite a lot.

Of course, these archetype questionnaires aren't scientifically validated personality assessments. I treated the results as an engaging exercise in self-reflection rather than a definitive description of who I am.

From Feminine Archetypes to Personal Style

ChatGPT suggested that my Sage-Mystic combination could translate into a style that was understated, sophisticated and slightly unconventional.

It even gave my style an identity: The Intuitive Elegant. Quite atas-sounding, isn't it? Haha.

According to this interpretation, the Sage influence favours clean lines, structure and timeless pieces, while the Mystic adds depth through colours, textures and subtle accessories.

I rather liked the idea.

After all, I've always been drawn to looking effortlessly polished without appearing overdressed.

But there's a difference between admiring a particular aesthetic and being able to wear it comfortably, which brings me to the next obvious challenge.

The Plus-Size Petite Problem

If you're familiar with the combination of plus size and petite, you'll probably understand why finding flattering clothing isn't always straightforward.

Many petite styling recommendations seem designed for slim women with a flat tummy and a small waist, while plus-size fashion often assumes a taller and voluptuous frame.

So where does that leave someone who is both petite and plus-size? Add a fuller midsection in midlife, and things become even more complicated.

So over the years, I've developed some fairly specific clothing preferences.

I love pencil skirts, particularly knee-length and ankle-length ones. I also wear fitted pants, usually paired with long, loose tops that provide coverage around my stomach and bottom.

Dresses? Not really my thing. I almost always feel frumpy in them.

Heels? No, thank you. I only wear sneakers or ballet flats any day.

I even told ChatGPT about all my preferences and current stylings. Surely all this information would help it understand my style better, right?

Well, not immediately.

AI Keeps Dressing Me Up Like a Slim Woman

Here's where the experiment became irritating.

Despite knowing my height, body proportions and clothing preferences, ChatGPT repeatedly showed me styling examples featuring slim petite women.

But were they representative of my body type? NO.

Eventually, I pointed it out myself to ChatGPT, as I was getting impatient.

To its credit, ChatGPT acknowledged the oversight and revised its recommendations to consider the actual challenges of dressing a plus-size petite frame.

That was probably the most useful moment of the entire exercise.

It basically shows that personalised recommendations aren't necessarily personal just because an algorithm has been fed information about you.

Sometimes, you still need to challenge the recommendations before they become relevant.

So, What Did ChatGPT Recommend Eventually?

After quite a lengthy conversation, we arrived at a style profile that actually made sense to me.

The colour direction remained Warm Spring, based mainly on my previous professional consultation.

As for my wardrobe, the recommendations became much more practical.

Instead of suggesting dresses or oversized clothing, ChatGPT focused on what I already enjoy wearing: pencil skirts, fitted trousers, relaxed but structured blouses, comfortable footwear and simple accessories.

It suggested experimenting with warm ivory, deep teal, chocolate brown, caramel and coral rather than relying entirely on black.

Black, by the way, has long been one of my preferred colours, mainly because I find it useful for drawing less attention to my midsection.

The most useful advice wasn't about changing my personal style completely. It was about paying closer attention to garment proportions, shoulder fit, fabric drape, blouse length and waistband comfort.

In other words, work with what I like instead of trying to turn me into someone else.

So, Can ChatGPT Really Replace a Personal Stylist?

After this experiment, my answer would be this: Not entirely.

ChatGPT was useful for brainstorming outfit combinations, exploring colour palettes and helping me articulate my preferences, but it also made assumptions.

It initially overlooked my body proportions when providing visual examples, and some suggestions were more generic.

A qualified personal stylist can assess fabric, fit, proportions and how different garments actually look on a person. ChatGPT cannot fully replicate that experience through a conversation and a couple of photographs.

Still, it offered something useful: an opportunity to examine my wardrobe choices more consciously.

I realised that I already have a fairly consistent personal style. I favour streamlined bottoms, relaxed tops, comfortable shoes and understated elegance.

Perhaps I don't need to reinvent my wardrobe after all.

I just need to be more deliberate about how I put everything together.

**********

Another blog post that I wrote a few months ago, which I find quite interesting when I read it again: What AI Thinks My Personality Is (After Two Years of Conversations)

0

Competence, Likeability and Trust Are Three Different Things

I've been watching quite a bit of crime television lately.

I recently finished all three seasons of the Turkish series Graveyard (Mezarlık), I'm currently on Season 3 of The Rookie, and I've finally reached Season 12 of Bones.

They are three crime procedurals that give me very different viewing experiences.

Graveyard is intense and often emotionally heavy. The Rookie is a much lighter watch, with plenty of humour and entertaining characters. Bones has been a long-running favourite, particularly because of its combination of science, criminal investigations, and character dynamics.

While watching these shows, I realised something about the characters that stood out to me across all three series.

Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie

For example, the character Oscar Hutchinson from The Rookie. He is a ruthless psychopathic criminal - manipulative, opportunistic and certainly not someone I'd want anywhere near my personal or professional life.

But he's brilliant at surviving. He reads situations, identifies opportunities and makes himself useful when necessary. Even when circumstances are stacked against him, he somehow manages to find a way to stay in the game.

I find him thoroughly entertaining. You ask, would I trust him? Absolutely not. Hahaha. But I find his resourcefulness rather impressive, though it doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Inspector Önem from Graveyard

Then there's Inspector Önem from Graveyard.

She's truly capable, although she's severely underestimated in the beginning. She's determined and willing to challenge institutional failures, particularly when investigating crimes against women. She doesn't always have an easy relationship with the people around her, but she knows what she's doing.

What I enjoyed most about the first two seasons was the team dynamic between Önem, Serdar, Hasan, Selin and Berk.

They have different personalities, strengths and ways of approaching situations. They don't always agree, and they get frustrated with one another quite frequently. But they know how to work together when it matters.

However, Season 3 was disappointing. The storyline became unnecessarily complicated with an unsatisfying ending. After three seasons of investing in these characters, I expected a better resolution.

Still, I enjoyed watching how the team functioned in the earlier two seasons.

Dr Lance Sweets from Bones

And then, Bones! I've always appreciated the different expertise that each character brings to the investigations. Dr Brennan is exceptionally knowledgeable, Booth has his investigative instincts, and the Jeffersonian team (Hodgins, Angela, Dr Saroyan, and the whole rotation of interns) contributes its scientific expertise.

But my favourite character will always be Dr Lance Sweets. To me, he is the GOAT! Hahaha.

He's intelligent, perceptive, funny and kind. He understands human behaviour and can recognise things that others overlook. He doesn't need to be the most senior or authoritative person in the room to demonstrate his value.

What I particularly liked was how he could challenge Booth and Brennan without trying to compete with either of them. He knew what he brought to the table.

Competence, Likeability, Trust

Thinking about these characters, I realise that competence, likeability and trust are not necessarily the same thing.

Here's how I look at it:

Despite being a criminal, Oscar gets things done, but he primarily uses his abilities to protect his own interests, which means his intelligence doesn't make him reliable or trustworthy.

Sweets, on the other hand, combines competence with sincerity and a genuine concern for others, which makes him very likeable.

And Önem demonstrates her abilities through her actions, earning trust from her teammates, even when circumstances are difficult.

The Distinction That Matters Beyond TV Characters

Over the years, I've worked with people whose personalities and approaches are very different from mine. Some are systematic and detail-oriented; others are more intuitive or spontaneous.

I don't necessarily have a problem with either approach.

I can appreciate someone's abilities even when they work differently from me because I don't expect everyone to think the same way or arrive at decisions through the same process.

What matters the most to me is this: "Can the person deliver what they have promised and committed to doing?"

Trust is an important workplace "currency" that I associate with consistency, accountability, and demonstrated behaviour.

A confident personality who can make grand promises doesn't automatically establish competence. Neither does seniority, a job title or being particularly good at talking.

Likewise, having a difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks ability or competency.

I've become more conscious of separating these things rather than treating them as interchangeable.

I can recognise someone's strengths without liking everything about them; I can appreciate intelligence without needing to know how it's used; and I have become very deliberate in creating opportunities to earn and learn trust, which is a very expensive "currency".

Perhaps that's also why I enjoy ensemble casts. Different characters contribute different abilities, and not everyone needs to be the star.

Anyway, I'm still watching The Rookie, and I'm quite happy to keep it as a light, entertaining series.

No need for every episode to provide an important life lesson.

Although, apparently, I can't even watch a fictional criminal like Oscar Hutchinson without thinking about competence and trust.

Hahaha.

0

Xennial Women's Bingo

I'm a Xennial.

Xennial is the micro-generation that sits between younger Gen X and older Millennials, with the commonly cited range being 1977-1983.

The top half of our lives was extraordinarily analogue. We have made mixtapes, survived dial-up internet, lived perfectly well without smartphones and somehow managed to meet people without sharing our live location. 😂

We also grew up when health information came largely from parents, magazines, doctors and whatever someone's aunty said. Then we became adults during the internet revolution.

Now we are in our 40's, entering perimenopause in an era of wearables, podcasts, TikTok doctors, supplements, HRT debates, health influencers, private screening packages, AI and Dr Google.

We are taking words like oestrogen, ApoB, visceral fat, bone density and insulin resistance seriously.

In fact, some of us could be taking magnesium, trying to sleep earlier, interpreting blood test results, and asking more questions before and during medical appointments.

I made a Xennial Women's Bingo card.

How many boxes can you tick? 😂

Actually, I'm also curious about something slightly more serious: How does a generation of women who grew up trusting traditional sources of health information navigate an overwhelming abundance of health information at midlife?

Because we may be the last generation that grew up without the internet, and one of the first to navigate midlife with almost unlimited health information at our fingertips.

This combination fascinates me.

When curiosity becomes a commitment.

What started as an interest in understanding this stage of life has developed into something broader.

I'm increasingly curious about how women search for health information, whom they trust, and how they decide what is worth buying, trying or paying for.

And to be honest... I've been thinking about what it means to pursue an intellectual interest seriously, especially at this stage of life.

Professional experience doesn't automatically translate into academic research competence. There are new methods to learn, assumptions to challenge and different standards of evidence to understand.

Looks like, somewhere along the way, my curiosity has become more deliberate. I'm no longer just reading because something interests me. I'm beginning to think about what it would take to contribute something meaningful to the subject.

That excites me as much as it intimidates me.

For now, I'll keep the curiosity burning as I prepare mentally and physically for my commitment for the next few years.

0

Why I Refuse to Stay Quiet About Perimenopause | Menopause Awareness Month

October is Menopause Awareness Month

For generations, women went through menopause and the years leading up to it, pretty quietly. In this October, which is also the Month of Menopause Awareness, I've been thinking a lot about why that silence existed for so long and why I don't think we need to continue it.

For a very long time, older women's health wasn't something people talked about openly. Partly because menopause is considered a natural stage of life, so the expectation basically goes like this: "Every woman goes through it, so just tahan only lah."

And partly, I think, because nobody wanted to be judged. But unfortunately, some of that judgement comes from other women too. The most common one that I always hear is this: "Our mothers and grandmothers went through menopause too. They didn't make such a big fuss about it."

This is where I respectfully disagree.

What Our Mothers Didn't Say

Just because previous generations went through something silently doesn't mean they went through it comfortably.

• Maybe they didn't have the words for what they were feeling.
• Maybe nobody told them that the insomnia, anxiety, brain fog, rage, exhaustion, palpitations, changing periods, joint aches or loss of libido could all be connected.
• Maybe they did mention it to their doctors, but their doctors told them it was stress, ageing, motherhood, or simply part of being a woman.
• Or maybe they just got on with life because what other choice did they have?

To be very frank, I don't see their silence as proof that menopause wasn't challenging. Sometimes silence is just silence.

Yes, It's Natural, I Know

As a Gen X woman going through perimenopause right now, I feel that women of my generation are most likely among the first to talk about this stage of life so openly and publicly.

And to some women from earlier generations, we probably sound like we're making a lot of noise over something completely natural.

But here's the thing: 'natural' doesn't mean easy.

Yes, childbirth, period, and ageing – all these are natural occurrences in a woman's life. But pain is still pain.

For some women, perimenopause is fairly manageable. For others, the symptoms can be bloody unbearable.

On some days, the irritability is ridiculous, sleep can be rubbish, anxiety turns up for no obvious reason, or my mental bandwidth disappears much faster than it used to. And sometimes noise, people and normal everyday stuff are just TOO MUCH.

And when several of these things happen at the same time, being told "it's natural" doesn’t really help.

I know it's natural. But I still need to know what the hell is happening to me.

Talking About It Isn't the Same as Blaming Everything on Hormones

This one is important. Being vocal about perimenopause doesn't mean I want to put every woman in her 40s into a box:

• Bad mood? Hormones.
• Can't sleep? Hormones.
• Forgot something? Hormones.
• Annoyed with your husband? Definitely hormones. 😂

No lah.

There are many reasons someone might feel anxious, tired, foggy or unable to sleep. Some of those symptoms may need proper medical checks because there could be something else going on entirely.

I'm not trying to blame hormones for everything. I just want perimenopause to be part of the context, so we can ask better questions.

• Could this be hormonal?
• Could it be my thyroid?
• Am I low on something?
• Is it stress?
• Could it be something psychological?
• Should I see a doctor?
• Would treatment help?
• What lifestyle changes do I need?

Asking these questions isn't making excuses. It's about being able to make informed decisions and take charge of our health.

Silence Doesn't Make Us Stronger

I have huge respect for the women before us. They raised families, worked, looked after ageing parents and kept households running, all while their bodies were changing, usually with very little information or support.

But respecting their resilience doesn't mean we have to copy their silence.

First, if we know more now, why not talk about it?

Second, if treatments and support exist, why shouldn't women know about them?

Third, if talking about it can save another woman from spending years wondering, "Why am I becoming like this?" then I'd rather talk about it, bravely.

Why I'm Choosing to Be Vocal About It

This is also why being featured on Menopause Asia as an advocate means something to me.

I don't see advocacy as standing on a soapbox telling women what they should think or do. For me, advocacy means:

• Talking openly about what I'm experiencing.
• Sharing what I'm learning.
• Asking questions that perhaps women before us were never encouraged to ask.
• Helping another woman recognise that what she's going through deserves attention rather than dismissal.

I'm still learning myself; I don't have all the answers, and I don't think every midlife symptom should automatically be labelled perimenopause.

But I do think women deserve enough information to recognise when something has changed, enough confidence to ask why, and access to the right support if they need it.

That, to me, is what advocacy looks like.

I'm not talking about perimenopause because I think women are fragile but because women deserve to understand what is happening to their own bodies.

There's no prize for suffering quietly. And silence is something that we don't need to pass down.

0

Discovering Nine Little Korean Banchan (Side Dishes)

One of my favourite things about having Korean food for lunch or dinner is the little spread of side dishes (banchan) that arrives before you have even properly started your meal.

I have eaten them many times at different Korean restaurants, happily picking from one little bowl to another, without really paying attention to what they really are.

But now, looking at this photo of banchan I had at the Korean Recipe restaurant at Bukit Jalil Golf & Country Resort, I realise something quite interesting.

Banchan (Korean Side Dishes)

I know which ones I like. I just don't always know what they are. So I decided to finally identify what was on this particular table.

1. Spicy sliced potatoes

The orange-red slices are potatoes, seasoned or pickled with chilli. Slightly spicy, slightly tangy and very easy to keep digging in.

2. Mashed potato salad

The pale yellow side dish beside it is mashed potato salad. It's buttery and creamy, making it a nice break from the stronger flavours around it.

3. Braised black beans

Those glossy black beans at the top are sweet-savoury and slightly chewy. It's one of those side dishes that looks basic but has a surprisingly strong flavour. This is probably my favourite of the lot!

4. Spicy cucumber

The cucumber chunk in red sauce is crunchy, refreshing and lightly spicy. This dish is probably one of the easiest banchan to recognise.

5. Rolled egg

The little rectangular piece in the middle is a rolled omelette. This dish is most likely one of the most common side dishes.

6. Pickled white radish

The pale pieces on the left are pickled radish. Crisp, slightly sweet and acidic, and very useful for cutting through richer food, especially if you're having grilled pork belly.

7. Stir-fried anchovies with peanuts

The little anchovies and peanuts on the right are crunchy, savoury and slightly sweet. This is the kind of side dish where you either take one bite or somehow finish half the bowl without noticing.

8. Pickled pink cabbage

The bright pink dish is a vinegar-based pickled cabbage. It's tart, crunchy and looks very pretty on the table.

9. Kimchi

And of course, kimchi! Fermented cabbage, chilli, sourness, spice and probably the one banchan almost everyone recognises.

Bibimbap

Oh yeah, the bigger bowl at the bottom of the photo is not a banchan hahaha. It's a bowl of bibimbap. I love the assortment of vegetables, colours and textures, especially when everything gets mixed together with the rice, egg and sauce into one gloriously messy bowl.

Life is Like Banchan

Anyway, back to banchan. What I like about banchan is that none of these dishes needs to be the star.

They don't outshine one another. Each has its own taste profile, its own role, and together they make the meal feel complete.

Life works a little like that too. Not everything needs to be the biggest, loudest, or most important thing on the table. Some things simply add contrast, balance or comfort.

Life is not about having one thing that defines everything. Sometimes, it's the combination of many small, different things that makes the whole experience richer.

 

0

Looks Like Sarawak Is Becoming the Kind of Place We No Longer Have to Leave

Note: Created by ChatGPT

For years, many of us Sarawakians left our home state and moved to Klang Valley because we believed we had to. We left to study, work, seek more opportunities, and eventually build entire lives away from our hometowns.

About 30 years ago, I was one of them. I moved to Kuala Lumpur to study at Universiti Malaya. It was a practical thing to do because I had secured a spot at the most prestigious university in the country. I couldn't give up the opportunity; I had to grab it.

Fast forward to today, I am still here. I have a career, am married, and have children who are growing up knowing West Malaysia as home. I have also completed my master's degree study at Sunway University. Our routines, schools, work, friends and lives are here.

Relocating back to Sarawak is obviously not as straightforward as deciding one morning, "Okay lah, let's go home."

But lately, something has been making me think about whether I could consider building a life back in Sarawak.

Sarawak suddenly feels like it is developing at a breakneck pace.

Lately I have been seeing one development after another coming out of Sarawak. At first, I thought it was just my social media algorithm feeding me more Sarawak content.

Then I started looking deeper into it, and there really is quite a lot happening:

Note: Created by ChatGPT

• The economy is growing. Sarawak's economy reached RM153.5 billion in 2025, while GDP per capita stood at RM73,757, higher than the national figure of RM59,167. Source: Department of Statistics Malaysia, 2026
• Billions in investment are coming in. Sarawak recorded RM10.8 billion in approved investments in the first half of 2026. Source: MIDA, 2026
• Investments and plans are also emerging in renewable energy, hydrogen, digital infrastructure, AI and data centres, including the planned 500MW FutureData Park in Kuching. Source: InvestSarawak, 2026
• Phase One of the Kuching Urban Transportation System (KUTS) covers almost 70km with 28 stations, using hydrogen-powered Autonomous Rapid Transit (ART) vehicles and feeder buses. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
• A feasibility study for the proposed new Kuching International Airport at Tanjung Embang has been completed. Source: Sarawak Ministry of Transport, 2026
• IKEA is opening its first East Malaysian store in Kuching. Source: IKEA, 2026

Then there is one development that caught my attention more than all the shiny new infrastructure. Maybe this is because I am a parent now.

Free Tertiary Education Scheme in Sarawak

From 2026, Sarawak has allocated RM250 million for its Free Tertiary Education Scheme. The scheme covers 64 undergraduate programmes across four Sarawak-owned institutions: Swinburne University of Technology Sarawak Campus, Curtin University Malaysia, University of Technology Sarawak and i-CATS University College.

For eligible students from lower-income households, there is also a living allowance of up to RM15,000 a year. The programmes are not randomly chosen. They include areas such as STEM, medicine, law, accounting, finance and psychology, with the stated intention of developing talent for Sarawak's future workforce.

There are other initiatives too. The 2026 Sarawak Budget includes RM30.5 million for the Free Laptop Programme, RM36 million for the operation of Yayasan Sarawak International Secondary Schools, and RM8 million for the Graduates Return to Sarawak Initiative, which subsidises flights for Sarawakian students studying in Peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and Labuan.

Wow!

Almost 30 years ago, I was one of the many students leaving Sarawak for tertiary education. If I were 18 today, looking at all these developments, would I still make the same decision?

I genuinely don't know.

And perhaps the more relevant question for me now is, "What does all this mean for my children?"

Here's where the numbers become more complicated.

I don't intend for this blog post to become one of those "Sarawak is booming, everyone let's go home!" pieces.

To put things into perspective, economic growth and shiny infrastructure are only one side of the equation.

Sarawak's unemployment rate was 3.2% in 2025, according to the Department of Statistics Malaysia. Although Sarawak's economy is substantial and growing, its economic structure is very different from Kuala Lumpur's. Services accounted for 39.3% of Sarawak's economy in 2025, compared with 91.7% in Kuala Lumpur.

These numbers matter to me because my professional background is in the service industry: marketing, content and digital work. My professional networks are here. Moving somewhere with a growing economy doesn't automatically mean there will be equivalent senior-level opportunities in my particular field.

There are also questions that GDP figures cannot answer. What are salaries like? What kinds of senior jobs are actually available? What about healthcare and specialist care as we get older? What opportunities would my children have as teenagers and eventually young adults? Would they reach 18 and tell me that they need to leave Sarawak for the same reasons I once did?

Those questions matter much more to me than the number of new buildings going up.

Because moving "home" after 30 years isn't really going home.

I still call Sarawak home, but I have spent more of my adult life in West Malaysia than I ever did living there. The Sarawak I remember from my childhood is inevitably imprinted somewhere in my memory, while the actual Sarawak has continued changing without me.

So relocating wouldn't really mean returning to my old life. It would mean building another one.

And this time, I couldn't make the decision only for myself. I have my family, career, friends, routines, and an entire ecosystem that I have built over nearly three decades.

Which is also why I am definitely not packing boxes now. Lol.

But I guess I can start preparing my children for the free education in Sarawak.

Maybe that's where this begins. Not with a plan to move home, but with the realisation that Sarawak has changed enough for me to start thinking about it.

Disclaimer: The views, reflections and opinions expressed in this post are entirely my own. This blog post and its accompanying images were co-created with ChatGPT, which I used as a research, writing and creative tool. All final editorial decisions, interpretations and opinions are mine.

0

My Kids' Paediatric Endocrinologist Has Put His Foot Down About Sleeping Early

During a recent dietitian appointment for my youngest kiddo, while we were discussing food, calories and how to help him gain weight, the dietitian reminded us that sleep is also important for growth.

This means I need to think about more than just feeding my child more. I also need to make sure he sleeps earlier and has adequate hours of sleep, just like what his dietitian mentioned, and as reaffirmed by his paediatric endocrinologist, Prof. Dr Yazid at UMSC.

So naturally, this sent me down another research rabbit hole, because I wanted to understand why sleep was being treated as such an important part of his growth plan. Okay, I don't know how this happened, but I seem to have conveniently forgotten that kids grow during their sleep.

What does sleep actually have to do with children's growth?

As it turns out, quite a lot.

Growth hormone (GH) plays an important role in childhood growth, and its secretion is closely associated with sleep. Research has found that significant GH release occurs around the first period of slow-wave, or deep, sleep, particularly during the earlier part of the sleep period.

Source: Instagram

Research suggests that adequate, good-quality and regular sleep is important for children's health and development, and sleep is closely connected to the normal secretion of growth hormone. Children who get enough sleep at the correct timing tend to be able to grow taller.

For children aged 6 to 12, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends between 9 and 12 hours of sleep per 24 hours, while teenagers aged 13 to 18 should generally get between 8 and 10 hours.

Guess what the timing is? 

Children should already be asleep no later than 10pm, preferably by 9pm.

Seriously?

But why wasn't this emphasised more?

Look, my kids have seen paediatricians throughout their childhood for general checkups, vaccinations, nutrition and growth charts, along with all the other things that parents normally discuss with their children's doctors.

Of course, we've also been told that children need enough sleep. I don't think there is a parent alive who doesn't know that children are supposed to sleep early.

But I now realise that there is a significant difference between being told, "Make sure he gets enough sleep," and being told, "Sleep needs to be part of how we manage his growth."

Those two statements would have landed very differently with me as a parent.

It was only when we started seeing a paediatric endocrinologist that I began to understand how seriously I should be treating sleep in the context of growth. Now that the dietitian has reinforced the same message, I find myself wondering why I didn't understand its importance much earlier.

How I wish somebody had made the connection much more explicit. If someone had told me years ago that when we assess a child's growth, we should be looking at nutrition, sleep and the overall growth pattern together, I would have treated bedtime very differently.

Anyway, turning bedtime into another reason to beat myself up isn't going to help anyone. What I can do is take what we know now and change what happens from here.

So Operation 'Sleep Earlier' Begins!

I'm realistic enough to know that announcing, "From tonight onwards, everybody goes to bed before 10pm!" is probably the fastest way to make the whole exercise fail.

Our bedtime has gradually crept later over the years, so I'm treating this as something we need to reset rather than something I can change overnight.

1. Move bedtime earlier gradually.

Instead of suddenly trying to shift bedtime by an hour, we can move it earlier in smaller increments. Even bringing bedtime forward by 15 minutes every few nights gives their bodies and our household routine some time to adjust.

The goal isn't to achieve the perfect bedtime immediately. It's to gradually make an earlier bedtime feel normal.

2. Work backwards from wake-up time.

This has been one of the more useful ways for me to think about it.

Instead of asking why my children need to sleep so ridiculously early, I can start with the time they need to wake up for school and work backwards according to how much sleep they need for their age.

Once I do the maths, bedtime becomes somehow less negotiable.

3. Start the bedtime routine well before bedtime.

I've also realised that saying "bedtime is 9pm" cannot mean that we start preparing for bed at 9pm.

BUT there is coming home from tuition or football, showering, packing school bags, finding things and, inevitably, remembering something important right before bedtime.

If I want them asleep earlier, the entire household needs to start slowing down earlier.

4. Screens need a bedtime too.

This is probably going to be one of the harder changes because "five more minutes" on a phone has a remarkable ability to become half an hour.

Rather than focusing only on what time the children get into bed, I think we need a clearer time when screens stop too. That gives them some time to wind down before they're expected to fall asleep.

5. Aim for consistency rather than perfection.

There will inevitably be late dinners, homework, football, family activities and weekends when everything goes completely off schedule.

I'm not trying to run a military camp where everybody must be unconscious at exactly 9.37 pm.

What I want is for an earlier bedtime to become our normal routine rather than something we attempt only when there is school the next morning.

Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted.

The more I learn about children's growth, the more I realise that there isn't one magic food, supplement or habit that determines how tall a child eventually becomes. Genetics matter, nutrition matters, overall health matters, hormones matter, and sleep is another part of that complicated picture.

There are many things about their growth that I cannot control, and perhaps that's the part of motherhood that makes me the most anxious. I can do all the right things and still have to accept that I cannot personally command their bodies to grow.

What I can do is make use of the information we have now.

I can work on his nutrition. I can add the extra oil. I can make his snacks more substantial. I can keep taking him to his appointments and keep monitoring his progress.

And I guess I can also occasionally be that mother who starts shouting across the house every night, "GO TO SLEEP! YOU NEED TO GROW!"

Haha.

Wish me all the best!

0

Oral Health Is Part of My Midlife Maintenance Now

By now, I have accepted that perimenopause has opinions about almost every part of my body.

Sleep? Affected.

Mood? Definitely affected.

Metabolism? Don't get me started.

Skin, hair, brain, joints? Apparently everybody gets a turn.

And now, my mouth has joined the conversation. Omg.

A Visit to the Dentist A Few Months Ago

A few months ago, I had an episode that sent me to the dentist. I blogged about it here: Apparently You Can Floss Religiously and STILL End Up at the Dentist 😭

Because of that episode, I discovered something I hadn't really thought about before: oral health can change during perimenopause and menopause.

Research has documented oral-health concerns during perimenopause and menopause, including dry mouth, gum and periodontal problems, oral discomfort and changes in the tissues of the mouth.

Hormonal changes, particularly changes in oestrogen, are thought to play a role, although of course not every dental problem in your 40s can be simply blamed on perimenopause.

This realisation has led me down the rabbit hole of oral probiotics, interdental brushes and toothpaste ingredients.

Welcome to midlife. Hehe.

The Product I Didn't Even Know Existed: Oral Probiotics

During that dental visit, I was given the usual treatment, but my dentist also recommended that I take BioGaia Prodentis for a month.

My first reaction was essentially: Har? There are probiotics for your mouth? Until then, probiotics lived firmly in the yoghurt-and-gut-health section of my brain.

BioGaia Prodentis contains the active strains of Limosilactobacillus reuteri Prodentis (a blend of L. reuteri DSM 17938 and L. reuteri ATCC PTA 5289).

Unlike swallowing a probiotic capsule, it comes as a lozenge that dissolves slowly in the mouth, so the bacteria are delivered directly into the oral cavity. BioGaia specifically developed the combination for oral health and gum support.

I have been taking BioGaia Prodentis for the past four months. And so far, my gums have been behaving themselves. I no longer have the bleeding or soreness I used to notice.

At the same time, I also started using an interdental brush properly.

I Changed My Toothpaste Too

As though oral probiotics weren't already enough of a departure from my old routine, about a month ago I switched toothpaste and started using Boostoral Restore+ n-HA Prebiotics Whitening Toothpaste.

Previously, toothpaste was… toothpaste. Now I read ingredient lists. Haha.

Boostoral caught my attention because its formulation is built around two things I hadn't previously looked for in toothpaste: nano-hydroxyapatite and oral prebiotics. The toothpaste also contains hydrated silica, while other ingredients in the range include things such as xylitol and tea tree extract.

Nano-hydroxyapatite, or n-HA, was particularly interesting. Hydroxyapatite is a mineral that naturally makes up much of tooth enamel. Boostoral uses a nano-sized form designed to interact more closely with the tooth surface and support remineralisation and the formation of a protective mineral layer.

Then there are the oral prebiotics, which are there to support the environment in which beneficial oral bacteria live.

So in a sense, I have somehow arrived at this situation:

Prodentis = probiotics

Boostoral = prebiotics

I have gone from buying whatever toothpaste seemed reasonable to apparently managing an ecosystem inside my mouth. Midlife is wild. Hahaha.

There is another reason Boostoral caught my attention that has absolutely nothing to do with microbiomes.

The branding is ridiculously eye-catching. Their packaging doesn't look like the traditional toothpaste packaging I've been staring at in supermarkets for decades. It looks almost like skincare.

And then there are the flavours. I started with Pink Guava, which sounds much more like something I should be drinking at a beach resort than brushing my teeth with. I've since bought Watermelon and Magic Mint. The one I actually wanted next, Lemonade Burst, is currently out of stock.

Looks like I've also started collecting toothpaste flavours now. I don't know when this became my life either. LOL.

And perhaps that matters more than it sounds. The best oral-care routine is still the one you actually keep doing.

Disclaimer: This is simply my personal experience with the products mentioned, not medical or dental advice. My oral-health routine also changed in several ways at the same time, so I can't attribute the improvements I've noticed to any single product. If you have persistent bleeding, swelling, pain or other changes in your gums or mouth, see a dentist rather than attempting to probiotic your way out of it. 😆

0