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ANNOUNCEMENT

I have launched a series of blog posts called Featured Mommypreneurs in collaboration with mommypreneurs (i.e. mommies entrepreneurs). Let me know if you're interested to join me to feature your products / services. :)

 

 

Horror & Humor Sunday Chronicles™

Hmmm... So, I can't really wake up late in the morning unless if I'm having nightmares the previous night. LOL! Dreams are usually the only factor that could keep me bound to my bed. Hahaha!

So, let's start with the "Horror Sunday" chronicles™. XD

Woke up around 9am, switched on my laptop and saw that dreaded anti-virus scan screen prompt displaying this sentence, "...threats have been removed." Aiyorrr... What threats? I traced the name of the doomed entity and came across this string of alphabets: "atdmt". This "atdmt" culprit has been resurfacing itself so many times. I knew it was one of those cookie files. Let me google.

Okay, got it. Atdmt :: Atdmt Removal Instructions


Atdmt is a tracking cookie that monitors your Internet activity and gathers your personal information as you surf the web. This information may be retrieved by the parent company, without your consent.

Huh? Duh... the next thing that annoyed me was when I logged on to my hotmail account. I saw atdmt.com appearing at the bottom of the window. I began to wonder if this is the source of infected cookies. Is live.com somehow connected to atdmt.com?
Yada yede yidi yodo yudu...



Never mind. I've set this. Hope it works.


Hey, it's time to cheer up. Why frown over a string of alphabets called atdmt? :P

So, here comes "Humor Sunday" chronicles™. XD

Enjoy!

Wife: What are you doing?

妻: 你在作什麼啊?

Husband: Nothing.
夫: 沒作什麼。

Wife: Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

妻: 沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書,足足有一小時了。

Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
夫: 我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。

******************************

Wife: Do you want dinner?

妻: 要吃晚餐嗎?

Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
夫: 當然!我可以選擇嗎?

Wife: Yes or No.
妻: 要或不要。

******************************

Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?

妻: 為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
夫: 當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。

Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!
妻: 你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!

Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?

夫: 是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢?

******************************

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

女孩: 婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
男孩: 親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
女孩: 哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。

******************************

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

子: 今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位女士。

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
母: 嗯,你這麼做是對的。

Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
子:但 是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。

******************************

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

一位新婚的先生問他太太: 如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我,你會嫁給我嗎?

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
女人溫柔的答道: 親愛的,不管是誰留下財產給你,我都會嫁給你的!

******************************

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

女孩對著男友說: 吻我,我就永遠屬於你了。

The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
男孩回道: 謝謝您提早警告我。

******************************

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?

妻問夫: 你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍,回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。

ROTFL!!!

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